330: Indecision

Indecision

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Title text: Hey, I don't make the rules. It's in the book.

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Explanation

These two friends appear to feel obliged to engage in sexual experimentation to alleviate boredom, simply because they read a rule that demands this in a book. Such experimentation would usually violate the expectations of a previously platonic friendship, so most people would not take the book's suggestion, and it may even make them feel embarrassed and awkward. The second friend's demeanour suggests he has no great enthusiasm for participating, but that he believes he has no choice in the matter, as it's in 'the rules'.

The friends are presumed to be male, since both are Cueballs. If the friends are heterosexual, there would typically be a particularly strong social taboo about this behavior. Even if both men are gay, the fact that they're friends (as the rule in the book describes them) suggests that they are not currently having sex on a regular basis.

The book the rule is found in appears to be some sort of all-encompassing rule book, its reach including the social sphere. Obviously, this book is fictional, but the line "I think there's a rule about this" sounds like a reference to folklore rules or guidelines like the "five-second rule." The book may be expressing a supposed descriptive rule, rather than a prescriptive one.

Crisco is a brand of shortening, a fat that is solid at room temperature and frequently used in baking, though is also sometimes used, as implied in this instance, as a sexual lubricant. Crisco was referenced again in a sexual context in the title text of 414: Mistranslations and later as a part of a weird dream also in the title text of 557: Students.

The title text could be spoken by either one of the characters or Randall. It attempts to pre-empt any awkwardness or judgment the reader may have about this situation by transferring responsibility to the rule book.

Transcript

[Cueball is lying on the floor with his friend.]

Cueball: So what do you want to do?

Friend: Still no ideas.

Cueball: Wait, I think there's a rule about this.

[Cueball goes to bookshelf and removes a book called "Rules".]

[The book of rules is opened to the following:

RULE social.b.99.1

If friends spend more than 60 minutes deciding what to do, they must default to sexual experimentation.

[Cueball is standing, holding the book. The friend is in the process of standing up.]

Cueball: Huh.

Friend: I did not know that rule.

Cueball: Me neither.

Friend: I'll go get the Crisco.

Trivia

A book suggesting a more or less unrelated solution that is accepted anyway is also pulled from a shelf in 1024.

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Discussion

- I think it went along the lines "if two persons share an eye contact longer than X seconds they are either going to fight or fuck." 108.162.231.67 16:30, 15 December 2014 (UTC)

- The author of this "explanation" is clearly heterosexual and not particularly kinky. Crisco is COMMONLY used as a sexual lubricant for the act of anal fisting, particularly in the gay community. ~ Remy

- Perhaps we could replace "is not commonly used as a sexual lubricant" with "is not intended for use as a sexual lubricant". --198.41.235.203 15:56, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

- Commercial lubricants are still more common. The fact that you refer to something as both kinky and common makes little sense. -- Flewk (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Why is everyone adding a dash before their comment162.158.79.185 16:52, 13 March 2019 (UTC)

- I don't know. PoolloverNathan^[talk]U•T•S•c 18:17, 6 April 2021 (UTC)

- a fellow archive trawler I see. 8:02, 18 April 2021 (UTC)

- oh gosh should we warn those commenters from 2019 about covid? 22:42, 2 August 2021 (UTC)

— No, we shouldn't violate causality like that. And what would they be able to do anyway? Stock up on toilet paper?

- Oh, should we warn those commenters from 2021 about the salt robots and the attack geese? Willintendo (talk) 15:23, 20 November 2024 (UTC)

108.162.241.31 13:54, 27 October 2021 (UTC)

- hello everybody --The Cat Lady (talk) 00:11, 14 August 2021 (UTC)

Used to be a thing, the only signed comment is from 2015, and Remy’s is probably earlier. Netherin5 (talk) 17:09, 13 March 2019 (UTC)

I think it's an allusion to The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right book. 162.158.102.150 08:03, 23 February 2016 (UTC)
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