2843: Professional Oaths

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Professional Oaths
Interpretations of the Hermeneutic Oath differ.
Title text: Interpretations of the Hermeneutic Oath differ.


The Hippocratic Oath is an "oath" of ethics taken by medical professionals, which includes the phrase "do no harm". Technically, the exact phrase "first, do no harm" is not in the oath, but this meaning is implied.

The full Hippocratic Oath can be seen at the Wikipedia article.

Randall takes other words that sound similar to "Hippocratic" and creates "oaths" for them.

  • Hyperbaric means "of, relating to, or utilizing greater than normal pressure", so thus a "hyperbaric oath" would indeed involve getting used to (acclimating to) a different pressure.
  • Holographic refers to "holographic" projections as seen in media such as Star Wars, in which the image typically shimmers. Not to be confused with actual holograms.
  • Histrionics is "exaggerated, overemotional behaviour, especially when calculated to elicit a response".
  • Hydroelectricity is producing energy using water power, typically using turbines.
  • A hippodrome is an arena that was historically used for chariot racing and horse racing.
  • Hypnagogia is "the state immediately before falling asleep". The phenomenon of jolting awake just as one is about to fall asleep is sometimes referred to as a hypnagogic jerk.
  • A hypergolic propellant is a type of rocket propellant which doesn't need a spark to ignite, and spontaneously combusts when mixing the parts together. Normal rocket propellant, such as RP-1 and liquid oxygen, requires some sort of initial spark to start the reaction.
  • (title text) Hermeneutics is the study of interpreting texts, thus the "Hermeneutic Oath" could have several interpretations as to its meaning.


[There are multiple panels showing different characters, with the name of an oath above them and "First," followed by some principle related to the oath below them. They are all something that is related to the oath.]
Hippocratic oath
[Ponytail is wearing a lab coat, giving the Hippocratic oath.]
First, do no harm
Hyperbaric oath
[Cueball is standing with multiple pressure lines around him.]
First, acclimate to the pressure
Holographic oath
[A hologram of Ponytail is standing still.]
First, shimmer intangibly
Histrionic oath
[White Hat is yelling angrily.]
First, whine and complain
Hydroelectric oath
[Megan is standing in front of a very large turbine in a brick wall.]
First, maintain your turbines
Hippodromic oath
[Ponytail is riding in a chariot. The horse pulling the chariot is running, and there is a large dust cloud behind them.]
First, race your chariot well
Hypnagogic oath
[Cueball is in bed, and has sat up quickly in shock.]
First, jolt awake just as you're drifting off
Hypergolic oath
[Cueball is standing while on fire.]
First, burst into flame

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added transcript Me[citation needed] 05:47, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

every /^H.*ic$/ would be 4 syllables if it wasn't for hydroelectric Me[citation needed] 05:55, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Maybe that should be "hydrœlectric", then! 21:59, 19 October 2023 (UTC)


Clearly some lone editor had a grudge against hermeneutics, putting 'study' in scare quotes like that. AzureArmageddon 07:38, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Hippopotamic Oath: First, lead your horse to water. 08:02, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Cap doffed. Cap very much doffed. Yorkshire Pudding (talk) 20:16, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Hypobolic Oath: Do your worst! 09:55, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Hypochondriac Oath: First, pretend to be sick! Elektrizikekswerk (talk) 13:05, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Nitpick: Hypochondriacs don't pretend to be sick, they believe they have an illness or are unduly worried about the possibility of having an illness. Someone who pretends to be sick is a malingerer. 16:43, 19 October 2023 (UTC)
Ok, fair :) So: Hypochondriac Oath: First, consult your doctor! Elektrizikekswerk (talk) 08:32, 20 October 2023 (UTC)

"A hippodrome is a circular arena" The classical Greek/Roman was not circular: "One end of the ancient Greek hippodromos was semicircular, and the other end square with an extensive portico" Maybe it would be more correct to talk about pairs of hypergolic substances? Rps (talk) 12:19, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

I think the hyperbaric oath is probably referring to hyperbaric chambers, which are used in medical settings, such as treating scuba divers suffering from the bends. 14:08, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

I wonder if the "holigraphic" one is directly inspired by this recent display. (Although, by my reading, that's not really holographic, just an advanced form of stereographic display.) 06:01, 20 October 2023 (UTC)

I missed the Hydroponic Oath (“first, maintain nutrient concentration”), the Hypocritic Oath (“first, judge others as you don't wish to be judged”), and the Hyperbolic Oath (“first, take two intersecting asymptotes”). 15:34, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Isn't the Hypocritic Oath just "First, don't do this"?

I prefer the Hypocritical oath (insert political party of your choosing here). 17:29, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

All of them. Trogdor147 (talk) 18:18, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

The Hypodermic Oath: "I've got you, under my skin..." Yorkshire Pudding (talk) 20:20, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

The Hypoglycemic Oath: "First, eat some sweets!" 00:17, 20 October 2023 (UTC)

The Hypothetical Oath: "First, presume there is an oath." 00:23, 20 October 2023 (UTC)

The Hieroglyphic Oath - “First, do no tomb-robbing.” Miamiclay (talk) 04:16, 20 October 2023 (UTC)

Hippy Oath: First, chill out, man!
Hip-shaker Oath: First, do a shimmy.
Hypotenuse Oath: First, find the squares of the other two sides.
Hyperactive Oath: First, eat no sugar. 10:36, 20 October 2023 (UTC)

Hip-shaker Oath: First, do not lie. 20:18, 23 October 2023 (UTC)

Hydrophilic Oath: First, attract water!
Hydrophobic Oath: First, repel water!
Hydrox Oath: First, enjoy a cookie!
These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For (talk) 14:24, 22 October 2023 (UTC)

Quite surprised that he didn't include a "Hypocritical Oath". An idiot (talk) 06:11, 24 October 2023 (UTC)

I'm struggling to accept the shape of the hydroelectric turbine which appears more like a table fan to me. Is there something that could be explained? 19:05, 25 October 2023 (UTC)

Randall also had to draw all of the bricks in the wall. Maybe his hand was just tired. 21:59, 27 October 2023 (UTC)
Kaplan Turbines are still popular and do indeed look just like that, ranging from 3-8 blades. There are other types, they all have their tradeoffs and sweet spots. 21:23, 29 October 2023 (UTC)