907: Ages

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Ages

Title text: Every age: "I'm glad I'm not the clueless person I was five years ago, but now I don't want to get any older."

Explanation

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Explain is wrong at some parts, and sometimes it's just repeating the transcript. Pleistocene doesn't really match the graph. Every age section should have a much deeper explain. If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This is a graph of the general themes that occur between the ages covered by each individual set of brackets. The layout is a parody of larger timescales of human or geologic history, e.g. "Bronze Age" or "Iron Age".

The "ages" identified and experiences typical at that age:

• "0-3" - babies/toddlers are not self-sufficient and not intelligently communicative.
• "4-12" - children learn language and everything they see and learn is new and interesting.
• "13-17" - teenagers tend to rebel against authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) thinking they now "know best." Additionally, they tend to be negative about everything they experience in the world.
• "18-22" - young adults first foray into the freedom of the world (aka. college) often results in parties/drinking. Excessive drinking results in vomiting.
• "23-30" - first "adult" relationships beyond school "dating". Which are usually quite difficult.
• "31-42" - real world job stress, beginning families.
• "43-54" - The teenager experience from 13-17 is projected forward to parental experience of a teenager of their own. This quote is a cliche of a parent yelling at their daughter because the daughter's outfit is far too skimpy for the parent's taste.
• "55-75+" - "empty nest" phase with no children, onset of retirement, fewer responsibilities and copious free-time.

The title text is a joke about the short-sightedness of many people in believing their current age to be ideal.

Transcript

A number line labeled "age." The start point is 0, with points labeled 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70, and the line continues past the width of the panel. There are interstitial, non-labeled points. Above the line are labeled brackets. They are (approximated):

0-3: [Non-sentient]

4-12: "Everything is exciting!"

13-17: "Everything sucks!"

18-22: "Woooo college! Wooooo—" [vomit]

23-30: "Relationships are hard!

31-42: "So are careers!"

43-54: "No daughter of mine is going out dressed like that!"

55-75+: [More sex than anyone is comfortable admitting]

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Discussion

I don't know how Randall knows about the 55+ range, but ok. Davidy²²[talk] 01:44, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

Perhaps he is dating an older lady... 184.66.160.91 02:47, 26 August 2013 (UTC)

The fact that STDs among the elderly are going rampant -- Lackadaisical (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

"0-3 - babies/toddlers are not self-sufficient and not intelligently communicative." Babies at age 2 can communicate pretty good.(And some older people cannot "intelligently communicate". Kickasl108.162.229.40 18:52, 20 March 2014 (UTC)

I believe the idea is that most 2-to-3-year-olds are only capable of communicating things that could be boiled down essentially to either "I want that" or "I don't want that" (at varying levels of intensity and repetition). This is not generally considered "intelligent" communication - indeed most of the phylum chordata is capable of this level of communication. -- Brettpeirce (talk) 14:33, 21 March 2014 (UTC)

As a father. That's just BS. Or I have a genius baby. At 3 she is communicating more than just needs. She communicates fears, dreams, imagines she's a superhero, can count to 20, and can point out logical fallacies. She understands when I'm away on business, and can understand that I cannot interact with her physically. However, right afterwards she'll pretend I can interact with her and will run from the phone. She is sentient. I have reason to believe they are capable of these thoughts at even younger age, just unable to speak their minds. Cflare (talk) 21:51, 18 August 2014 (UTC)

Perhaps best not to get too hung up over the precise age ranges (and experiences) lol. Me personally, I squinted a little when "worrying about career" apparently only started in the 30s 172.68.23.82 14:42, 8 December 2024 (UTC)

Wow, Randall. Way to be a privileged white middle-class dude. Not everyone goes to college! Nitpicking (talk) 14:34, 12 September 2021 (UTC)