Difference between revisions of "3258: Plate Flip"
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| − | [[Ponytail]] resumes her role as a cosmic home inspector. | + | [[Ponytail]] resumes her role as a cosmic home inspector from [[3037: Radon]] and [[3059: Water Damage]]. |
She asks [[Cueball]] when the last time he flipped the {{w|tectonic plates}}, because they look heavily eroded. This may be an allusion to the practice of turning mattresses over every few months. This was common until the 20th century, to even out the wear and tear, and prevent permanent body impressions. When modern box springs became common, the practice became unnecessary. | She asks [[Cueball]] when the last time he flipped the {{w|tectonic plates}}, because they look heavily eroded. This may be an allusion to the practice of turning mattresses over every few months. This was common until the 20th century, to even out the wear and tear, and prevent permanent body impressions. When modern box springs became common, the practice became unnecessary. | ||
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Of course, such an idea would be impossible to do. The Earth's crust is far bigger than us, and any plate-moving technologies would need an insane amount of power, much more than we have. As well as that, it would be impossible to flip the whole crust over, as the plate-moving technology would have to be on part of it! Even by doing various plates at a time, the temperature increase from moving just one of them would already be deadly. The title text also reveals that somehow the crust is to be moved without moving the numerous things on it, which would further complicate matters. | Of course, such an idea would be impossible to do. The Earth's crust is far bigger than us, and any plate-moving technologies would need an insane amount of power, much more than we have. As well as that, it would be impossible to flip the whole crust over, as the plate-moving technology would have to be on part of it! Even by doing various plates at a time, the temperature increase from moving just one of them would already be deadly. The title text also reveals that somehow the crust is to be moved without moving the numerous things on it, which would further complicate matters. | ||
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| + | Even if the immediate calamities from turning the tectonic plates upside down were ignored the turned plate would be inhospitable to life. There would be no soil, only igneous rock, meaning no ground water could form resulting in an immense desert. Given enough time erosion and pioneer species would restore the geosphere this would also cause the "problems" ponytail tries to fix to reappear. | ||
The title text expands on this joke, saying that it would "exfoliate" just about everything on the surface (which would somehow have to stay in place while the plate below it is flipped). If this flip was to somehow happen it would indeed do that, but it would also melt just about everything on the surface, which is less than ideal.{{citation needed}} | The title text expands on this joke, saying that it would "exfoliate" just about everything on the surface (which would somehow have to stay in place while the plate below it is flipped). If this flip was to somehow happen it would indeed do that, but it would also melt just about everything on the surface, which is less than ideal.{{citation needed}} | ||
Revision as of 20:45, 14 June 2026
| Plate Flip |
 Title text: It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc. |
Explanation
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This is one of 44 incomplete explanations: This page was FOUND ON THE UNDERSIDE OF THE CONTINENT. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page! |
Ponytail resumes her role as a cosmic home inspector from 3037: Radon and 3059: Water Damage.
She asks Cueball when the last time he flipped the tectonic plates, because they look heavily eroded. This may be an allusion to the practice of turning mattresses over every few months. This was common until the 20th century, to even out the wear and tear, and prevent permanent body impressions. When modern box springs became common, the practice became unnecessary.
Flipping mattresses only makes sense because both sides are similar to each other, but the "underside" of a plate is nothing like the surface. The current side that Cueball and Ponytail are standing on is the outermost layer of the crust. However, the "underside" of the plate reaches until the solid layer of the mantle, whose temperature can reach over 1000 °C. As Cueball points out, if you could flip a continent over, the new surface would be molten rock, not a surface suitable for life. Ponytail thinks the warmth would be soothing, and that walking on it would exfoliate your feet, but at hundreds of degrees, it would do far more damage than just removing dead skin.[citation needed]
Of course, such an idea would be impossible to do. The Earth's crust is far bigger than us, and any plate-moving technologies would need an insane amount of power, much more than we have. As well as that, it would be impossible to flip the whole crust over, as the plate-moving technology would have to be on part of it! Even by doing various plates at a time, the temperature increase from moving just one of them would already be deadly. The title text also reveals that somehow the crust is to be moved without moving the numerous things on it, which would further complicate matters.
Even if the immediate calamities from turning the tectonic plates upside down were ignored the turned plate would be inhospitable to life. There would be no soil, only igneous rock, meaning no ground water could form resulting in an immense desert. Given enough time erosion and pioneer species would restore the geosphere this would also cause the "problems" ponytail tries to fix to reappear.
The title text expands on this joke, saying that it would "exfoliate" just about everything on the surface (which would somehow have to stay in place while the plate below it is flipped). If this flip was to somehow happen it would indeed do that, but it would also melt just about everything on the surface, which is less than ideal.[citation needed]
Transcript
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This is one of 26 incomplete transcripts: Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page! |
- Ponytail: These tectonic plates look pretty eroded. When did you last flip them?
- Cueball: Flip them?
- Ponytail: Yeah, to use the underside of the continent.
- Cueball: ...Never?
- Ponytail: Wow. Explains the eons of weathering, debris basins, and ... is this isostatic depression?
- Cueball: It's rebounding!
- Ponytail: You should really flip it. You'll get a whole new landscape!
- Cueball: But I like this landscape!
- Ponytail: Just think how warm and fresh the other side will feel.
- Cueball: A sea of molten rock?
- Ponytail: Good for the feet. Helps exfoliate.
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Writing this to keep people from saying "First!" on this comic. AmethystSky14 (talk) 16:17, 13 June 2026 (UTC)
- "First!" on this comic. 82.13.184.33 08:51, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
Second! Logalex8369 (talk) 16:32, 13 June 2026 (UTC)
Now you know how come comment boxes disappeared from blogs. I'm the shortstop. 2605:59C8:160:DB08:39D0:2269:6983:E38 16:52, 13 June 2026 (UTC)
Fourth! (But third base I guess?) 47.151.65.120 04:03, 14 June 2026 (UTC)
- Hey, this is a family friendly blog! 2A0A:EF40:2D3:201:1CE2:157D:BC39:D800 08:28, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
- I don't know, Abbott. 2605:59C8:160:DB08:39D0:2269:6983:E38 04:29, 14 June 2026 (UTC)
- Third base here means third basal (1st-layer) comment. 2001:4C4E:1C09:1C00:27AF:E5E8:189C:B02A 12:47, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
Should we add a category for the "Ponytail the planetary housing inspector" saga? Previously in the series: 3192, 3037, probably others that I forgot as well. Also of note, when the comics contain a geologist it is almost exclusively Ponytail, perhaps that deserves a category like Category:Doctor Ponytail? 185.36.194.22 04:28, 14 June 2026 (UTC)
- There already is one. There's the Home Inspection saga. GSLikesCats307 (talk) 09:53, 14 June 2026 (UTC)
Okay the current explanation says the underside of the plate would melt just about anything currently on the surface. What wouldn’t it melt? Or is this just hedging? Salsmachev (talk) 13:22, 14 June 2026 (UTC)
- Nah - I reckon the hedging would go too. Maybe burnt rather than melted though. 82.13.184.33 08:54, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
Is this the same ponytail as in 3192: Planetary Alignment? (After typing I saw that GSLikesCats307 had the same idea) SacrifycedStoat (talk) 16:20, 14 June 2026 (UTC)
- I reckon it is. This particular ponytail is a semi-recurring character it seems. RG (talk) 04:48, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
If anyone can explain the "isostatic depression" / "rebounding" section, I came for that! 87.115.198.74 08:09, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
- I guess this is the geological equivalent to an impression in a mattress. Ice shields (from the ice ages) leave lasting depressions in the plates which need 1000s of years to "rebound" even after the ice is gone. Canada and Scandinavia, for example, are still rising. All these lakes there will be gone one day, as will be the entire baltic sea. So Ponytail complains about this depression as if it were a major problem (like an impression in am mattress, and Cueballs "It's rebounding!" is kind of defensive. --2A02:8071:B84:FE60:B8CD:F85A:6078:B152 08:36, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
- Also, 'weathering' is probably staining (though possibly also wearing of the fabric), and 'debris basins' is, well, yuck. 82.13.184.33 08:56, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
Some mattresses have a "winter" (warmer) side and a "summer" side, so you should flip them twice a year. --85.159.196.162 08:11, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
This reminded me of a similar bit in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams:
- "Moments before the flare light reached Kakrafoon the pounding desert cracked along a deep faultline. A huge and hitherto undetected underground river lying far beneath the surface gushed to the surface to be followed seconds later by the eruption of millions of tons of boiling lava that flowed hundreds of feet into the air, instantaneously vaporizing the river both above and below the surface in an explosion that echoed to the far side of the world and back again.
- Those - very few - who witnessed the event and survived swear that the whole hundred thousand square miles of the desert rose into the air like a mile-thick pancake, flipped itself over and fell back down. At that precise moment the solar radiation from the flares filtered through the clouds of vaporized water and struck the ground.
- A year later, the hundred thousand square mile desert was thick with flowers. The structure of the atmosphere around the planet was subtly altered. The sun blazed less harshly in the summer, the cold bit less bitterly in the winter, pleasant rain fell more often, and slowly the desert world of Kakrafoon became a paradise. Even the telepathic power with which the people of Kakrafoon had been cursed was permanently dispersed by the force of the explosion."
Rps (talk) 10:19, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
Another related story (from an old Usenet post: https://groups.google.com/g/rec.humor.funny/c/lK4FGG676eo )
- "The congregation of a small stone church (in England?) decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become two worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone cam up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over.
- They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it."
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