3237: Husband and Wife

Husband and Wife

|< < Prev #3237 (April 24, 2026)

Title text: Borat came out twenty years ago this year--closer to the breakup of the Soviet Union than to today--but it honestly feels like it's been even longer, somehow.

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Explanation

This is one of 68 incomplete explanations: This page was created recently by MAH BAAT. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

Megan and Cueball are discussing the phrases that married couples use to refer to each other, traditionally "my husband" and "my wife". Megan thinks this sounds too traditional, comparing it to a "Victorian gossip" (a subject that was previously referenced in 2660: Gen Z), though it isn't clear whether this is because of referring to a spouse possessively or using the term "husband".

Cueball, on the other hand, isn't bothered as much by this implication as by the association with 2006 film Borat. Borat, a fictional character from Kazakhstan, had a distinct, cringy way of saying "my wife", which Cueball can't get out of his head when he uses the phrase.

Megan's concern may be a little overblown. "My" isn't only used to denote possession, it's also often used to refer to a close association. For instance, "my mother", "my friend", "my teacher" or "my cleaner" almost never imply ownership. This construction is not only used for people, for example, a student or employee may refer to "my school" or "my company", and people often say "my town" to refer to the place where they live, without any concern over the speaker owning any of them.

On the other hand, Cueball has a serious problem -- it's hard to forget that earworm. The title text points out that the 20 years from the movie's release to the publication of this comic is longer than the 15 years from the dissolution of the Soviet Union to the movie (Kazakhstan was briefly the last-remaining member of the USSR). In contrast to Randall's usual attempts to make people feel old, the title text claims that Borat actually seems older than it really is, in part because of how annoying

Transcript

[ Megan & Cueball are talking, standing next to each other]

Megan: I still feel a little weird saying the phrase "my husband".

Megan: It makes me feel so traditional, like a Victorian gossip.

[Megan and Cueball still standing next to each other]

Cueball: Yeah, well, my plight isn’t much better.

Megan: What do you mean?

Cueball: What’s the most salient cultural reference for the phrase "my wife"?

[In the 3rd panel, Cueball has his hands raised]

Megan: Ughhhh, true.

Cueball: Even now, after two decades, when I speak of you I hear his voice, echoing through the halls of memory like a cringey ghost.

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Discussion

As a UKian, the most obvious reference here is Papa Lazarou in The League of Gentlemen. I assume that's not what Randall has in mind though (is LoG even a thing in the US?), and I have no idea what he might be thinking of. 82.13.184.33 15:37, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

Ah, you beat me to it. XKCD's been updating quite late in the day recently, so I thought I was safe not checking for a new strip until now - only to find that apparently it's been up for hours, and the ExplainXKCD comments have likewise. Yes, Papa Lazarou was my first thought. "You're my wife now!" :) 50.45.232.78 20:31, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

Hello Dave! You want to buy some pegs 2A02:C7C:AD6D:1900:643A:9B89:E674:2F22 17:42, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

It's in the title text: the movie "Borat". The title character's way of saying "my wife" became an earworm. Google it. Barmar (talk) 15:43, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

Ah - OK - don't think the title text was appearing when I was initially looking at it. Found it now. Doesn't mean anything to me. Papa Lazarou is still more salient, and much worse. 82.13.184.33 15:46, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

I immediately thought of Kimura-sensei from Azumanga Daioh. 70.40.121.82 16:03, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

Out of curiosity, does anyone actually use 'my wife/husband'? I've never heard about it before. Is it an American thing or something? GSLikesCats307 (talk) 18:41, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

In the UK it's more normal to use expressions such as "my better half" when talking about your spouse to somebody that doesn't know them, other than in that role 2A02:C7C:AD6D:1900:643A:9B89:E674:2F22 17:45, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

"My better half" can be said with genuine feeling or sarcasm, either way. Then there's "my other half", "(him/her) indoors", occasionally "my spouse", "my partner" (downplays the possibility of there being an actual full marriage/similar), "the first Mrs Surname" (usually for men who think it's funny to joke about a long-time relationship maybe ending one day), "the latest Mrs Surname" (for those, again, as well as any who have gone through that at least once), and "Mr" versions of those last two (on occasions). Also "the old man" (or lady/girl/lass, etc, to suit) and other regional variations. Rhyming slang versions include "the Trouble" (and Strife, ie. 'wife'), "pot" (and pan, 'old man'), even "Danger" (mouse, 'spouse') etc... 81.179.199.253 19:48, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

You forgot SWMBO, "She Who Must Be Obeyed" - from an old Edgar Rice Burroughs story, I believe (Edit: I was wrong. It's H. Rider Haggard.), and popularised by Rumpole the defence lawyer in the books/TV show. 50.45.232.78 20:31, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

To me (an American), the phrases "my husband" and "my wife" are so common and ordinary that I'm surprised to hear someone say they've never heard them before. Out of curiosity, where is it that people don't say things like "I went to that restaurant with my wife once," and what do they say instead (assuming that the person being spoken to doesn't know the wife's name)? --2601:404:C300:8040:7A4A:8D8C:3378:DA33 19:35, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

Where does it say Megan is concerned with "My" because it's possessive? I think she's just commenting on how fancy and formal it sounds. Also, I don't see how the comic age plays into anything. I do think there is definitely a nod to the ghost in #1108 though. 170.187.32.34 17:50, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

I agree, it doesn't seem to be related to the possessive pronoun, but with the title "husband", which is deeply rooted in how traditional heteronormative families are constructed.

I also strongly doubt this is what concerns Megan. To me it's just the connotations to traditional, since outdated, family values that worries her. (This is probably why in the UK people appear to have stopped using the term, which must be an old thing as my parents who emigrated in the 80s also do it.)

Randall is a young pup. When someone says "my wife", the first thing I thought of wasn't Borat; it was Henny Youngman. 136.226.20.200 19:33, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

When I hear the phrase "my wife" I always end up finishing it with "Morgan Fairchild ... whom I've slept with" 66.212.184.170 20:05, 24 April 2026 (UTC)'

There are a few questions about usage. Just to clarify, most (many?) Americans say "My wife, Alice is... She likes... Alice does...." Americans tend to say "my wife" *once* in a conversation to make the listener familiar with the relationship. I've known very few people who *never* use the spouse's name, but who consistently say "My wife is... she likes... My wife does...". The last person I heard doing it was a xennial from South Africa, maybe 20 years ago. That feels extremely possessive and insecure to me, particularly given that I was friends with his wife. Still, I think the comic is only commenting on one-off usage, not this insecure, possessive usage. I haven't heard any slang for "spouse" ("better half", "ball and chain") from anyone born after 1960. 84.233.216.250 23:10, 24 April 2026 (UTC)

Am I in the minority? When referring to spouses, especially the 1st time, I usually say "[your|my|their|the] [Mrs|Mr]" as a noun, not including any surname @ all. Avoids this whole thing neatly, while being utterly clear & a bit (intentionally) corny. --TPS (talk) 03:39, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

I was just around a bunch of colleagues (in America) in social settings (meals, driving around) and "my wife"/"my husband" was used frequently. Not necessarily only once per person per conversation. Though we often *did* throw in the spouses' names in too, for variety. On the question whether Megan was concerned about the possessive or the formality of "husband", it's definitely the latter. Complaining about the supposed possessive is just being dense or juvenile about language. Using the phrase when you're recently married is awkward for almost everyone. Gvanrossum (talk) 03:55, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

And I feel unaccustomed to call my mom "Mom" while speaking to her Cream S.L. (talk / contribs) 04:56, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

This comic is *very nice* 99.10.82.184 05:06, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

In summary, it seems Randall is vastly overestimating how many people have seen and remember Borat. Really, the "most salient cultural reference"? --Coconut Galaxy (talk) 06:34, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

Indeed, I've never seen Borat. (And being British, I always called my mother "mum".) 2a00:23cc:d248:8901:94bc:c8d7:48aa:c9cb (talk) 08:42, 25 April 2026 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Yeah, also British and never particularly a fan of such 'character comedy' (his Borat/Ali G/etc, Trigger Happy TV, even back to Beadles About and its prank-type TV), though of course admire the chutzpah behind them (the whole "Cake drug" setup from Chris Morris/Brass Eye, the 'snail' using the zebra crossing, getting someone to ask an 'alien' if it would like some tea). So the specific Borat quote-reference passed me by (thank the non-existant pantheon of deities that explainxkcd was here to fill me in).

My mum's also always been called "Mum" (well, since I stopped using "Mummy!", that is), too. "Husband"s can also be "hubbie"s (not sure that the obvious counterpart of "wifey" gets so much use, but then that isn't a vocal contraction, perhaps "the missis" (however you'd spell it) is the more used direct return-term by said hubbie), as in "your hubbie, my hubbie, their hubbie, all our hubbies...".

Having "my" imply ownership, as suggested, is not particularly well founded, considering "my slave" (definite ownership, of the target referred to) and "my master (definite ownership, by the target referred to) but between there's everything else ("my replacement", "my opponent", "my ex", "my most distantly known relative") between where it's a matter of mere association, at best.

If I have any insight into the popular use of "husband" and "wife", it's just that marriage isn't what it used to be. Both the potential transience of such partnerships (though many aren't, those for whom it is might repeat the transience with someone else later, upping the perceived occurances) and the rising tendency of 'mere' co-habiting (at least for a while ...I've been to weddings where the couple's kids take part as page-boys/girls, ring-bearers, etc) makes marriage neither the solid default option nor an easily assumed relationship (it used, at one point, to be that the more common variation was "Yes, lovely couple, I know them well... Of course they are both married, just not to each other...")

It seems to imply a earlier-age formality (like the comic says). If a woman talks of "my wife" or a man talks of "my husband", it's to me not really more a shock to hear that than just have a heteronormative relationship pressed home accordingly. Maybe at most introduce "this is Jack... he's my husband..." or "my wife, Jill, will be along shortly/can't be here today" then refer to Jack/Jill by name only.

The exception might be on TV, etc, by personalities, perhaps using "husband"/"wife" (then "they"ing them) in any statements they decide to avoid any greater detail (than their respective gender) being 'outed'. Even if said partner (and the doubly-ambiguous "partner" usage seems to be less, without any rise at all in the singly-ambiguous "spouse") is also a personality, likely already well known enough. Actually name-checking the partner (first name, never mind full name) is rare except for 'celebrity couples' who lean on that relationship consciously. And bear in mind that in such marital partnerships, likely both parties have retained their professional (if not legal) surnames, so Mr Abraham Smith is probably married to Mr/Mrs/implicitly-Miss Betty Jones, and all the extra reverse combinations. David and Victoria Beckham is one exception, but then "Posh Spice" was not really going to hold as much kudos for her post-Spice pursuits. The other obvious David and Victoria (Mitchell and 'Coren Mitchell' neé Coren) did it by a sort of double barelling, in her case, which seems nust traditional enough but flexible enough to have worked well for them both.

It's become rare to the point of near-extinction for the wife to have called herself "Mrs Arthur Brown", having only technically become "Amelia Brown (neé Green)". The most you hear of it is for those in the throws of considering such a marriage ("...if I play my cards right, I shall be Mrs Humphrey Basingstoke within the year!") or on the day of any such wedding itself. I don't think there's any real tendency to go any further than changing their surname (if they even do that!), nor much practical need to present themself (factually or as a 'front') as being a 'properly kept wife' for the purposes of mortgages or other business interests that at one time were tricky to maintain without such official marital 'sponsorship').

...but how much of this is implicit to the comic's intended meaning is... debatable. ;) 82.132.236.85 16:19, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

I think the possessive pronouns is unlikely to be the issue presented. In Hebrew, the very word "husband" means "owner of", and it's become quite common for young people to shun it for feministic reasons. In English that's much less prevalent though, so it's probably just how marriage is sometimes seen as an outdated, oldish, formal concept (a family consisting of a "husband and wife" does negate other forms of families). 62.56.234.252 09:03, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

Is this comic political or something? What's wrong with being called a wife? 109.86.171.138 14:06, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

The most salient cultural reference to "my wife" for me was uttered by Will Smith at the academy awards in 2022. But now I am going to suffer through Borat to hear Randall's meaning. Thanks? SeanNerd (talk) 14:22, 25 April 2026 (UTC)

Borat didn't come to mind at all. I saw that movie once, when it was in theaters, didn't like it, and never thought about it again until now. Although it's not "the most salient" cultural reference, the first thing that came to my mind with the phrase "my wife" was The Who's song, My Wife. About a guy who gets drunk in a bar and spends the night in jail and is now afraid to go home because his wife will assume he's been cheating on her and will react with extreme violence. Not a funny topic, but John Entwistle's lyrics do make it into a humorous story. Shamino (talk) 16:32, 25 April 2026 (UTC)
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