3247: Particle Census
| Particle Census |
 Title text: Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations. |
Explanation
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This is one of 42 incomplete explanations: This page was created at an INDETERMINITE TIME. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page! |
This comic references the Heisenberg uncertainty principle of quantum mechanics. Put simply, it states that there's a limit to how precisely we can know both the position and momentum of a particle — the more precisely we know one, the less we know the other. Megan says they're taking a census of the positions of all particles in the universe, so they'll be known precisely; therefore, all their momenta will be unknowable. And by the time we use the census results, we won't know where any of the particles are, we'll just know where they were at the instant their positions were recorded by the census.
In the United States, the Constitution mandates that a population census of people living in all the states be taken every ten years. This is primarily for the purpose of apportioning representatives to Congress, but it has come to be used for many other demographic purposes. There's no legal requirement for a decennial physics census; if physicists want to do this, it's their own decision. However, it's not really possible to measure the positions of all particles in the universe, as there are a lot of particles in the universe, and many are quite far away.[citation needed] And unless the particles happen to be at absolute zero, they will be moving, potentially quite fast. So it would be a needlessly difficult census.
In the third panel, someone speaks up and is worried about what they will do with the particles in the potential “disruption”. Randomly taking someone’s particles and relocating them would be considered unpleasant,[citation needed] even if you tell them where the particles are going.
The title text refers to the Pauli exclusion principle, which states that no two fermions — types of particles that include all ordinary matter — can occupy the same quantum state. As the results of the census are confidential, physics officials will not use it to determine whether to issue citations for particles that violate the exclusion principle. This confuses physical laws, which describe how the universe works and by their nature cannot be violated, with societal laws, which declare what is allowed or required by the government.
Trivia
When this comic was uploaded the normal sized image was incorrectly 2x size. It kept showing up at 2x size on unixkcd for awhile.
Additionally, "indeterminate" is spelt "indeterminite" in the second panel text.
Transcript
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This is one of 40 incomplete transcripts: Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page! |
- [Megan is standing at a lectern, presumably talking to an audience.]
- Megan: Remember, Tuesday is the decennial particle census.
- Megan: Physicists will be recording the location of all particles in the universe.
- [Zoom out to show the stage Megan is on.]
- Megan: Of course, this will cause their momenta to become indeterminite, so please plan for some disruption.
- [The same scene. A voice comes from off-panel at the left.]
- Audience member [off-panel]: Wait, disruption? Where will my particles go?
- Megan: No one can say, but you'll know exactly where they were.
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The 'standard' and '2x' sized images had unexpected sizes, so an imagesize parameter has been added to render the image consistently with other comics on this website. See the web archive for more details. --TheusafBOT (talk) 18:54, 18 May 2026 (UTC)
GRAMMATICAL ERROR! Should there be a category for grammar mistakes (Example 1662: Jack and Jill, where there was a grammar mistake.)? YZ100 22:20, 18 May 2026 (UTC)
- Indeterminite? Location (singular)? 197.185.221.9 04:20, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- 'Indeterminite' isn't a grammatical error - it's a spilling error. 82.13.184.33 08:47, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- Oh, the irony. He means 'spelling error.' Was that intentional? SomebodyElse (talk) 11:06, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- It was very much indented. Though not as much as this one. 82.13.184.33 13:49, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- Oh, the irony. He means 'spelling error.' Was that intentional? SomebodyElse (talk) 11:06, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- 'Indeterminite' isn't a grammatical error - it's a spilling error. 82.13.184.33 08:47, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
In most civilized countries the census process is historically used to plan the sizing of public infrastructures (schools, hospitals, water and electricity infrastructures, waste disposal facilities, used water treatment, and all that sort of seemingly unimportant things). It does not surprise me that in the US it is primarily used as a political instrument, however. 2001:861:3F07:A020:CBE1:3BDB:88F9:709A 23:28, 18 May 2026 (UTC)
- "sizing of public infrastructures (schools, hospitals, water and electricity infrastructures, waste disposal facilities, used water treatment, and all that sort of seemingly unimportant things). […] primarily used as a political instrument" – i agree with the sentiment (not just for the US) but/and that is pretty much a definition of what politics is (should be) by a list of examples. 2A00:20:6346:8265:F4E8:8C7:66E:1D5 08:21, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- Remember that at the time the Constitution was written, the federal government was not expected to be involved much in most of that stuff, they're state matters. Barmar (talk) 14:09, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- The original justification for the census in the UK was as much, if not more, about figuring out how many people there were to exploit economically and militarily (as well as, weirdly, about helping the life insurance industry), as it was about allocating public goods. 82.13.184.33 14:20, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
"if physicists want to do this, it's their own decision." Not if the universe is deterministic. 82.13.184.33
Can someone find all the other comics where quantum principles are mentioned? I am fairly sure the Foxtrot one during Guest Week was one of those. SomebodyElse (talk) 11:06, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
Particle Man, Particle Man, Particle Man, Particle Man, Particle Man... 24.123.140.66 13:16, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- Triangle Man hates Particle Man. Probably because he can never work out exactly where he is. He's impossible to triangulate. 82.13.184.33 13:49, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
Pauli Exclusion principle does allow 2 fermions to have the same position if they have opposite spins.
Is the anonymity guarantee to ensure the privacy of particles that might be occupying the "wrong" space at the time of the census? Galeindfal (talk) 13:41, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
Is Megan really pointing towards the audience in panel 2? It looks to me like she's just pointing to the lectern, maybe her notes there. Barmar (talk) 14:03, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
- It looks to me more like a palm up gesture. 82.13.184.33 16:30, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
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