562: Parking

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Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.
Title text: Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.


There are few things so annoying as finding, when a parking lot is full, that someone has parked so carelessly as to take up two spaces. Even worse, it may have been intentional; they decided to exchange the risk of someone accidentally scratching their car for the risk of someone doing it on purpose, see 1030: Keyed. However, there are also non-violent ways to tackle the problem;[citation needed] politely leave a note, or (if possible) just move their car (whether to its proper alignment or to an impound lot).

Of course, Black Hat takes the road less traveled, apparently involving a cutting torch and what looks to be a circular saw. The offending portion of the parked car is sliced off (entirely without surgical precision) and neatly slotted into the remainder of the space. It is now legally parked, but will never become a functional car again.[citation needed] But at least Black Hat finally has space for his own car!

This comic may be the one referenced in 496: Secretary: Part 3, where it is shown that Black Hat '...completely disassembled a car' because 'It was parked across two spaces! It was only fair', or this is the second time that a car has been in the way of him parking, so he has taken matters into his own hands.

The title text indicates that a large crowd watched Black Hat at work but refused to identify him, presumably because they feel that the car owner got what he deserved.


[Black Hat is in a car driving around a parking lot.]
[Black Hat's car pulls up next to a red car, that's parked over a line at an angle that block two spaces.]
[Black Hat gets out of his car.]
[Black Hat is now holding a blow torch and a rotary saw, He's also wearing goggles and fuel tanks on his back. The blow torch is lit.]
[The badly parked car has been cut in half along a diagonal, and the half of the car that was in the second slot has been moved into the same slot as the rest of the car. Black Hat's car occupies the newly freed space.]


Black Hat, in the fourth panel, is also seen in the "Your Ad Here" screen.

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Still waiting (read: hoping) to see a story about this in real life. Complete with the cheerful-but-circumspect bystanders. 18:16, 5 November 2013 (UTC)

There has been a russian mayor using a tank to crush illegally parked car. It is not the same thing, but close. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)
   I feel I should point out that     Vilnius, where this happened is in Lithuania, which has been independent of Russia since 1918 (occupied by soviets for a while, but still fully independent for the last 27 years). Also worth noting the actual crushing was a setup with a prepared car, especially for publicity. 16:27, 1 March 2017 (UTC)

I like how Black Hat has seemingly tried to respect the parker's wishes by retaining the apparently desired angle of the (pieces of his) car to the kerb.

I don't think the bystanders were wary of possible revenge from Black Hat. They were cheerful, not fearful. 23:53, 23 December 2013 (UTC)

I think black hat merge with the psychologist. Mikemk (talk) 20:47, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

Is it just me, or does it look like Black Hat welded the car back together after moving the offending half? Anonymous 08:25, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

  Good point, there are tack marks. 14:41, 8 March 2016 (UTC)

I started by wondering whether the vehicle models were recognisable, then I noticed that, rather unusually, I would say, Randall mis-observed a detail repeatedly: the windscreen/windshield trapezoids are oriented the wrong way—the shorter parallel side should face the roof of the car, the longer parallel side the bonnet/hood. 15:29, 29 April 2017 (UTC)

From a Reddit post I just came across the idea that the red car's owner might have been forced to park that way due to someone else before. D: 06:44, 14 December 2018 (UTC)