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Dinosaurs And Non-Dinosaurs

|< < Prev #3204 (February 6, 2026)

Title text: Staplers are actually in Pseudosuchia, making them more closely related to crocodiles than to dinosaurs.

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Explanation

This is incomplete: This page was created by a CHROME DINOSAUR; however, it is definitely not. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

This comic explores the seeming paradox that certain extinct prehistoric species which are popularly thought of as being "dinosaurs" are, from a strict taxonomic viewpoint, not. It also takes into account the fact that all bird species are descended from dinosaurs and thus - again, from a strict taxonomic viewpoint - are themselves dinosaurs as well (see 1211: Birds and Dinosaurs). To illustrate this, Randall provides silhouettes of dinosaurs, of entities that are widely thought of as dinosaurs but are not, of entities that are not widely thought of as dinosaurs but are (i.e. birds), and, lastly, of entities that are neither dinosaurs nor thought of as dinosaurs (which is funny^{[citation needed]} because it's so all-encompassing as to be practically meaningless, just like it would be if you replaced the word "dinosaurs" by any other plural noun, or adjective).

Creatures that seem like dinosaurs and are dinosaurs

• Stegosaurus
• Triceratops
• Tyrannosaurus Rex, whose name literally translates to Tyrant-Lizard King, was a Late Cretaceous dinosaur, living during the Maastrichtian Age at the very end of the period. It was a contemporary of Triceratops and Mosasaurs, also listed in this comic. T-Rex is arguably one of the most well-known dinosaurs, due to the recovery of intact skeletons, as well as successful marketing and pop-culture influences, such as Jurassic Park, a movie of which Randall is a known fan.
• Diplodocus
• Velociraptor

Creatures that seem like dinosaurs, but are not

Dinosaur is a paleontology term which refers to a specific group of reptiles, based upon evolutionary lines, bone structure and living domain. However, non-experts may have difficulty distinguishing these from other extinct large reptiles/creatures and apply the term somewhat indiscriminately, hence the confusion between what is scientifically included and what is culturally assumed to be included.

The creatures listed are:

• Mosasaurs were aquatic reptiles that existed during the Cretaceous. Although mosasaurs appeared in Jurassic World, they are not closely related to dinosaurs. They actually evolved from lizards and are most closely related to either snakes or varanoids (such as the Komodo dragon).
• Plesiosaurs were another group of Mesozoic aquatic reptiles. Their place in the reptile family tree is debated, as they are not closely related to dinosaurs or any extant reptile.
• Pteranodon belonged to the group of flying reptiles known as pterosaurs. While dinosaurs and pterosaurs are both archosaurs and are more closely related to each other than other archosaurs (such as crocodilians; see title text explanation below), they diverged around 250 MYA, and are distinct enough to be entirely separate lineages.
• Dimetrodon lived in the Paleozoic, well before dinosaurs first evolved. They are synapsids, which makes them more closely related to mammals than to any living reptiles.
• Quetzalcoatlus was a genus of flying pterosaurs, like Pteranodon, that lived in the Maastrichtian Age (the end of the Cretaceous) alongside mosasaurs, T-Rex, and many others. They were some of the largest flying animals in history, with wingspans up to 36 feet (11m). They were not, however, dinosaurs, as they had pterosaur ancestry.

Creatures that don't seem like dinosaurs, but are

Due to the popular depiction of dinosaurs as prehistoric large reptiles, many people don't view modern birds as dinosaurs. However, as Randall loves to remind people, dinosaurs such as T-rex are more closely related (temporally, anatomically, and phylogenetically) to birds than to some other dinosaurs such as Stegosaurus, and therefore, birds are dinosaurs in their own right.

• Penguin
• Heron
• Ostrich
• Pigeon
• Falcon or Petrel (both of them qualify)

Creatures that don't seem like dinosaurs, and are not

• Squirrel: Squirrels are mammals, and dinosaurs are reptiles. Most people also think of dinosaurs as large and dangerous, while squirrels tend to be small and relatively harmless (although their bites can transmit infection.) Could also be made of dark matter.
• Stapler: Staplers are inanimate objects, and dinosaurs are living creatures.
• Pot plant: Dinosaurs are animals, and plants are not.
• Human: Humans are mammals, and dinosaurs are reptiles. In fact, the Jurassic Park series often pits the two against each other.
• Bicycle: While they tend to be more mobile than staplers, bicycles are also not living creatures.

The title text is a further joke about taxonomy, seemingly predicated on the assumption that staplers are biological organisms (which they are not),^{[citation needed]} and can thus be sorted into taxa. Pseudosuchia is in fact the clade of archosaurs that includes crocodilians, and staplers bear a certain resemblance to the open mouth of a crocodilian. Also, "suchia" sounds a little like "suture," and in some sense staples are pseudo sutures.

The original Linnaean taxonomy did at first have a top-level classification for "mineral" taxonomy, in addition to those for animal and plant, which in its broadest sense might allow one to assign a stapler a taxonomic relationship with dinosaurs.

Transcript

[A 2x2 chart where each of the four quadrants contains five silhouettes. These depict various animals, a few objects, and a human. Above each column and to the left of each row there are a label:]

[Left column:] Are dinosaurs

[Right column:] Are not dinosaurs

[Upper row:] Seem like dinosaurs

[Lower row:] Don't seem like dinosaurs

[Here follows a list of what are in each of the four quadrants:]

[Top left (seem like dinosaurs, are dinosaurs):]

[Stegosaurus, triceratops, tyrannosaurus, diplodocus, and velociraptor.]

[Top right (seem like dinosaurs, are not dinosaurs):]

[Mosasaur, quetzalcoatlus, dimetrodon, plesiosaur, and pteranodon.]

[Bottom left (don't seem like dinosaurs, are dinosaurs):]

[Penguin, egret, falcon, pigeon, and ostrich.]

[Bottom right (don't seem like dinosaurs, are not dinosaurs):]

[Squirrel, stapler, bicycle, human (here depicted as Cueball), and potted plant.]

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Discussion

Maybe it's more of statistics than exhibitions. --While False (speak|museum) 21:17, 3 October 2022 (UTC)

pixels-assembly-3.png

how is it 0 bytes?? i see that it is shown as 0 bytes on the wiki, but the file itself, when downloaded is 5kb! how???108.162.221.209 16:41, 4 October 2022 (UTC)Bumpf

If the question is how it can be written like that here, the answer is that I used the numbers of the wiki. —While False (speak|museum) 19:18, 4 October 2022 (UTC)

Sorry, should have made it more clear. Do you know why it is shown as 0 bytes on the file page? 172.70.134.103 12:37, 7 October 2022 (UTC)Bumpf

There's always the possibility that this is actually the Null image under the .png file format. Every other .png is defined by the delta required to display the desired graphic when starting from the baseline of this 'ur'-image, but if you ever wanted to display that graphic the undocumented format specifications allow you to omit all unnecessary bytes (including the magic header bytes) and it will happily produce its hardcoded "it's a PNG!" preprocessing template, which happens to be this image. Obviously, the PNG spec (and, ultimately, the original ancestor of the detailed source code tree for every subsequent implementation) was written before Randall ever got anywhere near to drawing this image so the chances are slim that he just happened to luck upon the exact image that happens to have a 100% compression rate because it just happened to consist of something Randall wanted to draw, and in the manner of Randall's artistry. But it's a non-zero likelihood that an arbitrary artist might draw exactly the same image as a purely arbitrary "index null" page's collection of pixels and so... This might not be the Best Of All Worlds, but there has to be some highly fortunate occurance to balance out all the unfortunate ones, statistically, and this is ours!

(Or maybe there's a minor bug/data-error in the way the wiki database serves the front-end webserver, but I can't ask you to believe something as trivially random as that!)) 172.70.90.245 15:03, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
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