2661: Age Milestone Privileges

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Age Milestone Privileges

Title text: If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article.

Explanation

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a BABY GOD-EMPRESS MAKING THE PRESIDENT'S LETTER R-RATED - Please change this comment when editing this page. (Edited by Cuvtixo) Do NOT delete this tag too soon. If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This is a list of "age milestones" in the United States. As usual for Randall, he has added many fictional entries to supplement some real life ones.

Age	Privilege	Description
16	Drive	Legal driving age varies by state in the US, but 16 is the highest age to qualify for a learner's permit.
17	Attend R-Rated movies Alone	In the US, the Motion Picture Association assigns ratings to movies based on content. A rating of "R" is supposed to prohibit viewing by minors under 17 years of age unless a parent or guardian accompanies them.
18	Vote
21	Buy Alcohol	In the US, the legal drinking age is 21 years, although other countries have a lower drinking age (Example: In Japan the legal age to drink is 20.).
25	Rent a car
30	Run for Senate	This entry is incorrect: one must be at least 30 years old in order to become Senator, not run for Senate. Joe Biden was 29 years old when he was elected to Senate but turned 30 before being sworn in.
32	Rent a Senator's Car	The first joke entry in the table.
35	Run for president
40	Rent a flying car
45	Learn about the God-empress
50	Join AARP	Full AARP (formerly called the American Association of Retired Persons) membership is available to anyone age 50 and over. AARP
52	Click to skip captchas
55	Vote for God-empress
62	$80 national parks lifetime pass	https://www.nps.gov/planyourvisit/passes.htm
65	Eligible for Medicare
68	See "Skip ads" button on live tv	68 refers to a "Skip ads" button on live TV. Some DVRs and streaming applications have a feature to skip over commercial breaks in recorded programs, but this could not be available in live TV, since it would require jumping forward in time. Time travel is currently impossible.[citation needed]
70	Run for God-empress
75	Ride any animal in a national park
80	Eligible for Megacare
85	Click to toggle whether an ad is positive or negative about the product
90	Click to make any movie R-rated
100	Get a letter from the president
102	(35+67) Collect a presidential pension
105	Get a birthday card from the God-empress
111	Leave your own birthday party early by putting on a magic ring
118	Vote 100 times
120	Collect the pensions of all elected officials
125	Drink alcohol in an R-rated movie while getting a shingles vaccine from the president
128	Age rolls over, become a baby again

In the UK you get a telegram from the Queen on your 100th birthday. In the US you also get congratulated by the weatherman on the Today Show.

Bilbo Baggins Farewell Birthday Party took place on his eleventy-first (111th) birthday.

Obviously, the god-empress does not actually exist because this comic is visible to people under 45 years old.^{[citation needed]} According to 1413, she will be public knowledge by 2040 anyway.

128 is a reference to computers, though 128 would become either -128 or -0 (depending upon implementation) in signed 8-bit, which means you would have a weird experience of your next phase of life. For unsigned integers, the correct rollback number would be 256.

The title text mentions Jeanne Calment, who holds the record for the oldest person ever (there are biblical references to older people, such as Methuselah, who supposedly lived to 969, but their ages haven't been verified); she reportedly was age 122 when the died in 1997. Randall claims that if you match her age you get editorial control over her Wikipedia page. Not there's some controversy whether Calment actually claimed her mother's records (including birth certificate) as her own, and "editing wars" have been fought over her article.

Although if anyone managed to exceed her age, presumably they would get their own page (albeit that they should not be encouraged to edit it themselves) and hers would cease to be as interesting, although that might depend on what use is made of the unparalleled editorial control now granted.

Transcript

This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.

Age Milestones
and associated privileges

16  Drive
17  Attend R-rated movies alone
18  Vote
21  Buy alcohol
25  Rent a car
32  Run for senate
35  Run for president
40  Rent a flying car
45  Learn about the God-Empress
50  Join AARP
52  Click to skip captchas
55  Vote for God-Empress
62  $80 National parks lifetime pass
65  Eligible for Medicare
67  Collect Social Security
68  See "Skip Ads" button on live TV
70  Run for God-Empress
75  Ride any animal in a national park
80  Eligible for MegaCare
85  Click to toggle whether any ad is positive or negative about the product
90  Click to make any movie R-rated
100  Get a letter from the president
102  (35+67) Collect a presidential pension
105  Get a birthday card from the God-Empress
111  Leave your own birthday party early by putting on a magic ring
118  Vote 100 times
120  Collect the pensions of all elected officials
125  Drink alcohol in an R-rated movie while getting a shingles vaccine from the president
128  Age rolls over, become a baby again

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Discussion

Who is God empress? 172.68.50.207 (talk) 23:05, 19 August 2022 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I reminds me of the God-empress of Missouri from an earlier comic about nested WWII speculation. 172.69.69.207 (talk) 23:17, 19 August 2022 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

That's comic 2149, yeah. There's also "I Swear Allegiance To The God-Empress In Life And In Death" in comic 1413, a phrase that will suddenly be very familiar in the year 2038.172.70.111.46 03:28, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

The age to learn about Her Majesty, the God-empress is accurate, you kids will just think he's joking before you turn 45 and hear Her voice in your head. 162.158.62.167 (talk) 23:56, 19 August 2022 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

The age must be stored in a 7 bit number because it wraps back to zero when 128 is reached. - Brian K 172.70.174.159 (talk) 23:52, 19 August 2022 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

(Hey, you eager lot, you've all forgotten to (properly, if at all) sign your discussion contributions...)

...if it were 8-bit signed, unchecked bitwise rollover could be awkward. Especially in 1's Compliment. 172.70.85.5 00:23, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

Make sure the explanations you’re putting in the table are explanations, not reviews of the comic! I agree with the fact that the comic is “America-centric,” but things like that should be stripped of opinion before being put into the article. A better way to put that might be (before the table) “Since Randall lives in America, many of the entries in this comic are specific to the U.S.” Szeth Pancakes (talk) 01:39, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

Image has been updated, a new line item at age 50 for shingles vaccine. Whosoever knows how to fix the image on this site, please do so. Mrob27 (talk) 05:24, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

I think perhaps the 125 item was meant to be (17+21+35+50) but Randall got it wrong. Mrob27 (talk) 05:51, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

I think 118 means thereafter you get to vote 100 times in each election, not that you have voted 100 times ever. Not correcting the table yet, as I may be the only one who thinks this. Miamiclay (talk) 06:34, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

I thought that, for what it's worth (there wasn't even a table when I first was here, though, and left everyone else to get on with it). If nobody else mentions it ('officially'), I may do so later. 141.101.98.225 08:47, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

I assumed a joke about getting to cast 100 votes in each subsequent election, but the explanation could be what he meant. 172.71.146.73 09:05, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

I agree it's much funnier, but I believe Randall would have thought to write "Vote 100 times per election". Mrob27 (talk) 07:10, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

On further thought, I realized that every other item in the list is a privilege gained at a particular age, rather than an accomplishment, so the alternative explanation makes no sense and should probably be deleted. If anyone agrees, feel free to do so. 162.158.106.21 17:59, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

It could also be a one-off benefit - you get to vote 100 times in the next election after you reach this milestone, or in any election falling in the year that you are this age. 141.101.98.193 10:06, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

There are people who DON'T think it's 100 times per election? It is incredibly clear. None of these are accomplishments, including this one, they're privileges bestowed. No WONDER the explanation seemed to go off on a tangent, counting votes! I mean, who the hell votes every year??! I only see ANYTHING to vote in on average every 3 or 4 years. Yeah, definitely delete the counting votes stuff. NiceGuy1 (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)

I don't think it was deliberate, but I think a certain editor ended up globally deleting some words (without going back to check the Diffs: car, election, Senator, years) from the text when adding something new. Be careful. Easy to restore, and hopefully I did that even whilst retaining the legitimate-looking edit that coincided with that error, but seems like something I need to mention as having happened. 172.69.79.173 20:31, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

I suspect that the "age rolls over" idea came from the Wikipedia search excerpt using Duck Duck Go in Firefox (haven't checked anywhere else) - Screenshot --Steve (talk) 02:10, 21 August 2022 (UTC)

128 is also where the accumulated lives of Super Mario roll back over to zero. L-Space Traveler (talk) 00:59, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

The Age 18 title is "buy alcohol" but the discussion is all about drinking alcohol. They are different things. Jgharston (talk) 11:24, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

There's no particular reason why a God-Empress should have to be in power for life. They might serve a given term, or simply until they choose to hand over the title, and then retire to a life of retreat in their temple, or something. 172.70.86.34 15:54, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

Well, it could indeed be something very like that.... (Everyone less than 45 will have to continue to think this is just a joke, of course.) 172.69.79.201 16:33, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

I take it whoever wrote the skip captcha entry is barely out of short trousers if they think that over-52s are 'old' and 'move slowly'? I'd suggest Randall probably chose this age because it (roughly, and currently) aligns with the start of the Unix epoch - these are people 'born before computer time'. 172.70.86.34 08:16, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

The reference to the Ambassador car seems a bit of a stretch - an ambassador is quite a different thing to a senator.172.70.162.147 08:23, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

Are we sure people don't get letters from the president at 100? My great grandma lived to be 103 and she got one at 100 and each year after. That was back in the early 90's and might not still happen.-RatedArgh

You can still request a presidential greeting at https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-greeting/ for a birthday or other personal milestones, and I would be surprised if such requests were ever refused. Of course, one might argue that there is a distinction to be made between a letter from the President and a robosigned form letter from the White House Communications Agency (?).108.162.237.83 18:52, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

I wonder if the privileges at 85 and 90 are a reference to changing perception not reality. I certainly know old people with hearing & CNS irregularities who will perceive an ad as positive or negative depending much more on their current mood than the actual content in the ad. 172.71.160.15 08:35, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

WHY does the R-rating entry specifically mention NC-17?? Why would that rating be more interesting? I THINK it's the highest before R, but so what? That's the significance of the entry, changing the rating. Seems like G would be a bigger deal, either denying kids their movies or making kids' movies inappropriate for kids... If I get no explanation in a few days I'll delete that part. NiceGuy1 (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)

The order of movie ratings,from most to least accessible is G, PG PG13 R NC17(formerly X). Thus changing an NC17 to an R rating would make it more accessible.(whether by changing the movie to fit the rating or just allowing more people to see it) It's worth noting that NC17 is the only rating that movie theaters actually check ID for, the other ratings are only guidelines. Many movie theaters won't even show NC17 movies, so it is very common for movie studios to edit any movies that recieve an initial NC17 rating until it recieves an R.172.71.22.105 02:01, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

The description for 'See "Skip ads" button on live TV' says that it would require time travel, but that's not always true. Many TV shows are a first-time "live" broadcast of a pre-recorded show. It is technically possible to have a "Skip ads" button that moves forward in the pre-recorded show. It would switch to a On Demand-style streaming, similar to how some cable systems allow starting a "live TV" show over from the beginning, before the show has finished airing, by switching to an On Demand show behind the scenes. Note to self: patent this. Mschmitt (talk) 19:52, 28 August 2022 (UTC)

"Skip ads on live TV" to me clearly mean that "live TV" switches over to a On Demand model in the future. "Click to toggle whether ad is positive" appears to refer to AI-generated ads, where parameters of the ads can be tweaked in real time. A few years later, whole movies are latent space defined and can be modified with a single click. 198.41.242.240 03:59, 17 December 2022 (UTC)