2754: Relative Terms

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Relative Terms

Title text: Small sewing machines are sewing machines that are smaller than a sewing machine. A sewing machine is larger than a small sewing machine, but quieter than a loud sewing machine.

Explanation

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The terms "small" and "big" are used to refer to size; the terms "loud" and "quiet" are used to refer to (audial) volume.

While these terms are relative, they are often used even when there is nothing obvious being compared against (e.g. "A windmill is a big thing" or "An ant is a small thing"). This comic humorously suggests that the item defined to be in the middle of all four terms ("neither small nor big; neither quiet nor loud") is a sewing machine, as a sewing machine seems (at least in comparison to the other items on the graph) to be neither particularly big nor particularly small, neither particularly quiet nor particularly loud.

An alternative argument may be that the in the center would be the average adult human (as this is the perspective from which most people use language), though this observation would lose some of the comic's comedic value.

The center of the chart is a sewing machine, and the comic is claiming that the scales of "loud and quiet" and "big and small" are measured in comparison to a standard size sewing machine. A standard sewing machine is roughly 60dB in volume and approximately 42” X 21”, although this is for industrial machines, and those in the home would be both smaller and quieter.

Many of the items appear to have been placed in the wrong quadrant for their actual attributes; locations seem to reflect more how people generally think of these things, as opposed to their real-life relationship to a sewing machine.

The title text is humorously tautological because it compares the standard against those things that are themselves defined against the standard.

Small and quiet (upper left)

Item	Description
Ant	Randall has used ants as a small comparator in a previous comic on the topic of comparisons.
Balloon	A party balloon is quite loud when it pops, or if someone 'squeaks' it by rubbing; a hot-air balloon is big enough to carry a few humans, and the burner can be surprisingly loud.
Book	Books are typically sized to be handheld, and thus smaller than a sewing machine, though some very large books do exist.[1] Similarly, books are associated with quiet activity, making no more sound than a quiet turning of a page in typical use, but could make a very loud bang if slammed shut on thrown forcefully on to a hard surface.
Bun (rabbit or pastry)	"Bun" is an informal term for a rabbit and a loaf of bread, this comparison was made in 1871: Bun Alert
Butterfly	Butterflies are used as an exemplar of something small, unnoticeable and seemingly insignificant in the metaphor of the Butterfly Effect.
Hat
Mouse	A mouse is a very small, quiet animal. This might also be a reference to the expression "quiet as a mouse", meaning very quietly.
Newt
Pin drop	The expression "hear a pin drop" is used to indicate that an area is exceptionally quiet; the idea is that the space is so silent that even something as insubstantial and tiny as a pin can be heard hitting the ground.
Snow globe	A snow globe is much smaller than a sewing machine. Some snow globes have a small music box that can be wound up to play a melody. Snow globes without a music box are silent.

Small and loud (upper right)

Item	Description
Baby	Babies are usually considered small, and can be quite loud when they cry.
Blender	Blenders make a lot of noise when in use. Most household blenders are smaller than a sewing machine.
Cricket	Given that it is in the small/loud quadrant, this would refer to the insect, which is pretty small and can be quite loud; the sport of cricket or a cricket game would be much larger (though potentially much louder).
Fire alarm	The primary purpose of a fire alarm is to notify people of fire, so fire alarms are usually very loud, but ideally take up little space.
Firecracker	A Firecracker is a small explosive firework that makes a very loud bang when lit.
Flute	An example of a small musical instrument that can nevertheless be audibly quite dominant.
Harmonica	See Flute.
Popcorn	A snack that is known for being annoyingly loud in a cinema setting. However, this is largely due to the otherwise low volume environment, and arguably a sewing machine might be equally or more annoying. Also, some helpings of popcorn in some cinemas may actually be larger than a sewing machine.
Songbird
Whistle	This is of course a device known as a whistle, as these are small. The human act of whistling, or a whistle produced by, for example, a kettle, has no size (other than that of the whistler or whistling object). A whistle is used as an alert or signal, or could be another musical instrument (see Flute). The loudest human whistle ever recorded was 8372 Hz and roughly 110 DB, which is a C9 in the standard musical scale and is roughly as loud as a jackhammer[2]. Since a whistle should be able to beat this it must be seen as loud.

Big and quiet (lower left)

Item	Description
Anaconda
Giraffe	Giraffes can be quite loud, but they usually vocalise using frequencies well below the range of human hearing. So, to a human, giraffes are quiet.
Northern lights	"In 2016, a Finnish study confirmed that the Aurora Borealis does produce a sound that can be heard" [3]
Shark	When people think of sharks, they typically envisage something large a dangerous like a great white. However, sharks come in a large variety of sizes, often considerably smaller than a sewing machine.
Statue	Most statues are larger than a sewing machine. Most statues are silent, but some have fountains or other devices that make sound.
The Moon	Lower left corner; the Moon is very, very big[citation needed], but it is also completely silent[citation needed] as sound cannot travel through the vacuum of space.
Tree
Windmill

Big and loud (lower right)

Item	Description
Airplane
Cannon
Riding mower
Steam calliope	A large musical device which functions by sending steam (or more recently compressed air) through attached whistles.
Train
Tuba
Volcano	Lower right corner. Volcanic eruptions can be extremely loud. The 1883 eruption of Krakatoa made a pressure wave of 180 dB, the loudest sound ever recorded.
Waterfall
Whale

Transcript

This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.

[A chart, with "Quiet" to "Loud" on the X-axis, and "Small" to "Big" on the Y-axis. It is split into four quarters, with "Sewing machine" in the center.]

[Upper left quadrant (Small & Quiet items):] Butterfly, Pin drop, Mouse, Ant, Bun (rabbit or pastry), Snow globe, Newt, Balloon, Book, Hat

[Upper right quadrant (Small & Loud items):] Popcorn, Cricket, Songbird, Whistle, Baby, Harmonica, Flute, Fire alarm, Blender, Firecracker

[Lower left quadrant (Big & Quiet items):] Shark, Tree, Anaconda, Giraffe, Statue, Windmill, Northern lights, The Moon

[Lower right quadrant (Big & Loud items):] Tuba, Riding mower, Cannon, Airplane, Train, Waterfall, Steam calliope, Whale, Volcano

[Caption below the panel:]

Big, Small, Loud, and Quiet are relative terms. The thing they're relative to is a sewing machine.

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Discussion

Does this mean that the steam calliopes which are as loud as an airplane are LARGER than that airplane? I'm not finding any examples of such. Ikidre (talk) 01:31, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

There isn't a meaningful upper limit on the size of a steam calliope (other than the expensive of manufacturing and operating it). Planes have more practical upper limits, given that they're at least nominally supposed to fly. --172.69.79.132 11:31, 27 March 2023 (UTC)

Holy shit what a terrible comic 172.68.58.130 02:24, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

I've seen many a terrible comic and I personally don't consider this one to be terrible, but relative to other XKCD comics I would consider it one of the least interesting and entertaining, unfortunately. 172.70.38.230 15:44, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

I'm somewhat terrified that "Statue" isn't considered *maximally* quiet. Trimeta (talk) 02:32, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

I don't think the position in the quadrants is meant to indicate degree of loudness or size. Barmar (talk) 04:07, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

Yes it is, that's how such graphs work. That's why sewing machine is in the middle, Randall is declaring that it's neither small nor big, and neither quiet nor loud, it's medium on both scales. Comics like this are roughly the standard X-Y graph but without numbered scales and having words instead of points. And I too noted that statues aren't maximum quiet, LOL! Maybe he's referring to the Doctor Who Weeping Angels? DO they make any sound? NiceGuy1 (talk) 05:29, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

If a Weeping Angel moves in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? Whoop whoop pull up (talk) 03:53, 18 June 2023 (UTC)

Well, that may be how such graphs sometimes work, but clearly not this one. The quadrants are positioned relative to the sewing machine, but that appears to be the only significance afforded to positioning in this layout - an item's position within its quadrant does not indicate the degree to which it qualifies as belonging there. Otherwise a firecracker and a blender would be quieter than a cricket. Unless Randall is referring to the crowd at a test match. But that seems pretty unlikely.Yorkshire Pudding (talk) 10:20, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

The fact that xkcd charts usually have arrows on the axes when the position within the quadrant does matter would support this claim. NcPenguin (talk) 16:45, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

Came here to point out that I’ve heard a mouse that somehow got in scritch-scritching n something in my kitchen, and I’ve heard a butterfly that somehow got in battering against a window trying to get out, but I’ve never in my life heard an ant, nor even a hundred ants working together to wreck stuff. But as you pointed out, there are no arrows on the chart, so the positions in the quadrants probably aren’t intended to be meaningful.172.69.34.10 21:56, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

To support that further, while buns (pastry) and buns (lagomorph) are probably both quieter than a sewing machine, the latter is generally significantly louder than the former (as well as most everything else in that quadrant), so co-locating them wouldn't work.172.70.90.35 08:20, 27 March 2023 (UTC)

I am certain that this is how Randall does such graphs, and intended with this one, but he got sloppy this time. I suspect he WAS doing that, but then would think of something quieter (or louder or bigger or smaller) and have left himself no room to indicate this (like he already put "Volcano" at the biggest before he decided to add the even bigger "Moon", so now they're both at the bottom of the graph). So, yes, gradation IS supposed to be indicated, but very loosely, not vigilantly. NiceGuy1 (talk) 04:22, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

I'm not sure what your certainty is based on, but I don't think you're correct about Randall's intentions with this chart. 172.71.254.14 20:55, 28 March 2023 (UTC)

2,750+ comics, that's what my certainty is based on. :) He often compares things like this (not long ago was a graph which compared doctors, I think the aspects were how legitimate their degrees were and how much you could trust them to help you with a medical issue). That, and I always get the feeling me and Randall have highly compatible thought patterns, like there are times I know exactly what he was going for, when others express confusion and uncertainty. I just know there's a GENERAL, LOOSE gradation going on here. You can't compare all objects, but for many you can. If you looked at no entries except Volcano, that feels like it would be the biggest thing here. If you look at only the Moon, THAT feels like it'd be the biggest. So they both feel right at the big part of the scale. Compare them to the Northern Lights (slightly higher, therefore smaller) and that's correct. Compare the RIGHT things, and it's graded. That's why the items are scattered instead of just listed, and why sewing machine is dead centre, as the baseline of everything. 04:57, 1 April 2023 (UTC)

Gartner Magic Quadrants include arrows on the axes, e.g. "completeness of vision -->" and "ability to execute-->". This is not that. However it is mostly implied by the contents of each quadrant that the items are arranged smallest to biggest (top-down) and quietest to loudest (left-to-right). I think for those who study the items carefully, this then introduces some situational irony for comedic effect in the way of the unexpected placement of certain items like "statues" (louder than a Giraffe?), "baby" (smaller than a harmonica?), and "cannon" (quieter than a riding mower?). Additionally, having spent time in a quiet room with a cricket, I think the "maximally loud" position of the cricket here feels about right. 172.70.179.61 16:44, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

It seems that the joke is exactly that the ONLY meaningful distinction between big/small and loud/quiet is how something relates to a sewing machine. There are too many obvious deviations otherwise.

I've always considered a microwave oven to be the central item

I concur that microwave would be excellent in the center, and less ambiguous (I mean, I feel certain that Randall didn't think of industrial sewing machines, but this community loves being uncertain, LOL!) NiceGuy1 (talk) 05:22, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

∃ industrial microwaves. Units of at least 1MW are available, compared to domestic units around 1kW.172.70.34.28 04:13, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

AFAIK, only Randall/xkcd uses the term "Bun" to mean bunnies... :) I feel like it should be worded that way. NiceGuy1 (talk) 05:22, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

No, it's very common in the furry community, and I swear I've heard it elsewhere as well. 172.70.230.72 12:03, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

Well, there's a reason I said this in a comment instead of editing the Explanation. :) NiceGuy1 (talk) 04:25, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

Is the breadbox no longer the standard item for size comparison? Because I still use it that way. Mathmannix (talk) 12:43, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

Ah, but this requires a standard for size AND sound at the same time, and I can't imagine a breadbox being the middle of any sound scale. What's quieter than a breadbox? NiceGuy1 (talk) 04:27, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

Is the moon really bigger than the northern lights? 172.70.126.117 17:39, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

Hmmmm... I wonder. Well, the Moon is a tad under 3,500km (diameter). Taking just a single pole's Aurora (combined, you could just say they are approx. Earth's diamater, which is bigger than the Moon,^{[citation needed]} going pole-to-pole) the height is the thickness of the (upper) atmosphere, very much of that below the altitude of satellites (e.g. ISS), which is mere hundreds of km at best. Or take its 3-6 degrees of 'band width', that is perhaps a tad over 300-600km thick. But if we go with its extent all the way round off the pole, it seems to get about the size of the Moon (linear distance, not 'over the pole') once it extends by 15-16 degrees of latitude (i.e. to less than 74 degrees N/S). It is generally accepted that it varies between 10 and 20 degrees from each geomagnetic pole (is seen at lower latitudes, but only above the horizon) so... it's a close thing. If I've done my calculations correctly. 162.158.34.235 18:58, 25 March 2023 (UTC)

Would it be useful to add "size" and "loudness" columns to each of the tables, along with estimates of each for each item? -- Dtgriscom (talk) 01:23, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

I don't think this comic is fully accurate... I've always assumed volcanoes were smaller than the moon. Thexkcdnerd (talk) 04:08, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

The Earth is larger than the Moon. The Earth spews lava from vents, ergo the Earth is a volcano (that is larger than the Moon)...

I actually subscribe to the idea that relationships within the quadrants mean little, I mean whales bigger than trains? Firecracker bigger than a blender? A book is noisier than a newt? ...but if you want an absurdist reason, I'm gonna say I live on a volcano, just because there's a whole lotta magma underneath me, and not as far away as space is above. ;) 172.71.242.191 12:46, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

I've slammed books closed or on to tables, but never seen/heard anyone slamming a newt, ergo books are louder. SDSpivey (talk) 15:49, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

Books barely make any sound at all in breeding season. In fact, they hardly do anything in breeding season, not matter how long you sit still and watch them. But it's quite difficult to set up a hide in a bookshop, so many objections from the owners... 172.71.242.86 16:23, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

Book printing, however, is quite loud. -- Hkmaly (talk) 19:37, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

How is a windmill quieter than a sewing machine? Looks like Randall never went up close to one :) Wind turbines make around 100 dB (of course you never stand close enough to experience it at this level), and the old timey windmills or water mills were very loud mechanisms too. --162.158.106.112 15:37, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

I second that comment. Wind turbine farms can be heard as a low humming sound from hundreds of meters away and are indeed quite loud up close (if you go and stand under one, you'll hear the "WHOOOoooM, WHOOOoooM" sound as each arm passes). It is even a major issue with the installation of wind turbines close to homes (at least in France).

Either I haven't been used to his sewing machines and waterfalls, but many waterfalls --very arguably most are about the size of a badly leaky faucet in volume -- much quieter than the sewing machines I'm used to.

I have found that the loudness of a sewing machine is definitely related to how old the machine is. I've got a 70-yr-old electric Singer, and my friend has a very recent model sewing machine, and mine is less than a quarter of the loudness, especially when thoroughly oiled. His sounds like a push-style lawnmower. I had no idea sewing machines were so loud until I met modern sewing machines. Thisfox (talk) 19:38, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

I've never been more compelled to post this in a satire subreddit. This xkcd looks like it was written by someone with dimentia. 172.70.131.12 (talk) 15:22, 28 March 2023 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Well, it is 2-Dimenti(on)al... Well spotted! 172.70.85.57 02:18, 29 March 2023 (UTC)

As I've seen pointed out elsewhere, on the weboweb by another presumed xkcdophile, the item (sometimes referred to as a "statue") involved in defining the ultimate culmination of Vladlen Tatarsky's activities, in St. Petersburg, was both smaller and (briefly) very much louder than a sewing machine... 172.70.91.151 00:18, 4 April 2023 (UTC)

What if there was air between us and the Moon? Would it be loud then? Psychoticpotato (talk) 13:01, 6 May 2024 (UTC)