867: Herpetology

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Herpetology

Title text: Birds are Aves, which is part of the clade Theropoda, which is in Saurischia, which is in Dinosauria. Those birds outside our windows are dinosaurs. We can clear out the rest of our brains because we now have the best fact.

Explanation

Herpetology is the branch of zoology that studies reptiles and amphibians. Ornithology is the branch of zoology that studies birds.

At an ornithology conference, Ponytail is using the Cladistics method by showing a Cladogram to argue that the combining of amphibians and reptiles into a single field of study is misguided. In terms of their evolutionary history, reptiles are more closely related to birds (and even to mammals) than to amphibians. She states, in a patronizing way, that the study of reptiles should more properly be combined into her own field.

Herpetologists would rightly see this view as a threat to their territory, their budgets and even their existence.

The claim made by the ornithologist is fundamentally correct; the evolutionary history of those groups did actually diverge in that way. So, instead of arguing the science, Megan, the presenter at the herpetology conference resorts to a personal attack on the profession of ornithology. At their own conference, they retaliate with a chart that purports to demonstrate that douchebags and ornithologists are more closely related to each other than either are to nice people, and they can therefore be grouped into an encompassing asshole classification.

Since the intent of the earlier presentation was presumably to rile herpetologists rather than achieve any particular scientific goal, this response seems appropriate.

In the title text, birds are class Aves which is a subset of the suborder Theropoda which is a subset of the order Saurischia and the superorder Dinosauria. Under the normal rules of classification, this means that all birds are technically dinosaurs.

This was also shown in more detail later in 1211: Birds and Dinosaurs.

Transcript

[Ponytail is standing on a podium looking right while pointing behind her with a pointer stick on a sketch showing a Cladogram, i.e. a large tree split that split up several time. Starting with one line at the bottom, this splits left and right and then both continues up. The left does not split again. The right splits again in a similar way, with the right not splitting anymore. The left, now in the middle splits a final time. All four ends are at the same height and have labels above them written at 45 degree angle. A small frame sits over the top of the panels frame. Inside there is a caption:]

Ornithology conference:

Ponytail: As you can see, herpetology is a silly field; reptiles are actually more closely related to birds and mammals than to amphibians.

Ponytail: It should really be broken up, with lizards folded into ornithology.

Labels:

Amphibians

Reptiles

Birds

Mammals

[Megan is standing on a podium looking left while pointing behind her with a pointer stick on a sketch similar to the previous panel. Starting with one line at the bottom, this splits left and right and then both continues up. The left does not split again. The right splits again in a similar way. All three ends are at the same height and have labels above them written at 45 degree angle. The top of the right part that split in two, including the labels has been encompassed by a dotted line which also has a label written over this line at the top left. A small frame sits over the top of the panels frame. Inside there is a caption:]

Herpetology conference:

Megan: As you can see, ornithologists are actually assholes.

Labels:

Nice people

Ornithologists

Douchebags

Dotted-line:

Assholes

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Discussion

At their own conference, they retaliate with a chart that purports to demonstrate that douchebags and ornithologists are more closely related to each other than either are to "nice people", and they can therefore be grouped into an encompassing "asshole" classification. Since the intent of the earlier presentation was presumably to rile herpetologists rather than achieve any particular scientific goal, this response seems appropriate.

Such a response is more likely to place you into the hands of someone who is planning to set you up. When you are attacked the first, reaction is to close-up. Next you check for damage and alert damage control if you have damage to report. Next you post watches and keep on the alert.

Once you have information on the source of the attack, the likely intent and how well it was accomplished you draw up a guarded response. You are still not going to be sure that an attack from you will be successful.

If it is going to be successful an attack will be the last thing you need to do. If it isn't going to be successful an attack is the last thing you ought to do. (Unless you want to join the dinosaurs in a game of how high can you jump from a tree (with enough rope.))

I used Google News BEFORE it was clickbait (talk) 10:53, 24 January 2015 (UTC)

The funny part is that Ponytail's clade diagram isn't right, either. Reptiles are not a sister clade to birds; they don't form a clade at all. Crocodilians are more closely related to birds than they are to, say, turtles, or snakes & lizards.

162.158.78.196 00:37, 7 March 2018 (UTC)