3278: Vera Rubin Observatory

Vera Rubin Observatory

|< < Prev #3278 (July 29, 2026)

Title text: 'Spurious signals from the kitchen' is harder for an optical telescope than a radio one, but with enough determination and creativity, I believe it's possible.

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Explanation

This is one of 40 incomplete explanations: This page was created by an 8.4-meter telescope. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

This shows a bingo card of various items discovered or potentially discoverable using the Vera Rubin Observatory. This is an astronomical observatory located in Chile, featuring the largest (as of 2026) digital astronomical camera; it began gathering scientific data shortly before the publication of this comic. However, the 'discoveries' get more and more ridiculous as the card goes on, gathering into ridicule.

A table of these is shown below:

#	Item	Explanation
1	Black hole tidally disrupting a star	A few days before this comic, a paper describing the detection of a tidal disruption event was published. It was detected by the Palomar Observatory, not Rubin.
2	Planet nine	This is a hypothetical planet in the distant reaches of the Solar System whose gravitational effects could explain the orbits of some extreme trans-Neptunian objects. Before it was redesignated as a dwarf planet, Pluto was considered the ninth planet.
3	Remnants of a former Milky Way companion galaxy
4	10,000 new trans-Neptunian objects	At the time of this publication 380 new TNOs had been detected.
5	Object on interstellar trajectory
6	Star being eclipsed by weird object
7	Secret military satellite
8	Kuiper Belt object that's a surprising color
9	Mars-sized TNO	A TNO is a Trans-Neptunian Object, one orbiting beyond Neptune. The largest one (by volume) found to date is Pluto, which is substantially smaller than Mars.
10	Local group supernova
11	Spurious signal from observatory kitchen	This is an allusion to an incident at the Parkes Observatory where their radio telescope detected signals that turned out to be radiation from a microwave oven. This was previously referenced in 2886: Fast Radio Bursts. It could also be in reference to 3275: Calibration Nobel althrough calibration would probably not help here, instead microwave turning off skills would. The title text points out that the Rubin observatory, housing an optical telescope rather than radio, would be unlikely to detect signals like this, but Randall thinks some clever technique could be used.
12	Glitch in alert system spams all astronomers	Many astronomical observatories send out alerts to astronomers when certain events are detected, particularly transient events, so that they can aim other telescopes at them. Astronomers have to sign up for such alerts, so spamming all astronomers would be an annoying glitch indeed.
13	Space (free)	The center square of a 5x5 bingo card is typically marked as a "free space", meaning it automatically counts toward the goal (typically 5-in-row). This square makes a pun by labeling the center square with the requirement "space": since the telescope is virtually guaranteed to find space, the square is essentially "free".
14	Earth-sized TNO	A TNO is a Trans-Neptunian Object. The largest one (by volume) found to date is Pluto, which is substantially smaller than the Earth.
15	Defunct spacecraft
16	Surprising number of small galaxies
17	Neutron star merger
18	New supernova constraints on dark energy
19	New dwarf planet bigger than Pluto/Eris
20	Lost historical comet
21	5 million asteroids and comets	About 11,000 new asteroids have been discovered so far
22	50,000 near-Earth asteroids	Only 33 of the newly identified objects discovered so far are near-Earth objects.
23	Object likely to impact Earth
24	Vera Rubin herself (faked death, stole spaceship)	Vera Rubin, the namesake of the observatory, died in 2016. This card proposes that she may have faked her death and flown out into space in secret, only to be found out and caught by the observatory named after her. This one is purely a joke.
25	Many very small dots	"Very small dots" is a pithy way to describe the objects in space visible from Earth. The primary purpose of an observatory to study these 'small dots' in great detail. So discovering "small dots" would be a free bingo space. Alternatively, this may be a reference to the Petrova Line in Project Hail Mary, which is described as "space dots". Or maybe some variation on the little red dots discovered by the James Webb Space Telescope.

Transcript

This is one of 30 incomplete transcripts: Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

[A Bingo card is shown, with 25 squares. They are as follows:]

Black hole tidally disrupting a star.

Planet nine.

Remnants of a former Milky Way companion.

10,000 new trans-Newtonian objects.

Object on interstellar trajectory.

Star being eclipsed by weird object.

Secret military satellite.

Kuiper Belt object that's a surprising color.

Mars-sized TNO.

Local group supernova.

Spurious signal from observatory kitchen.

Glitch in alert system spams all astronomers.

Space (free).

Earth-sized TNO.

Defunct spacecraft.

Surprising number of small galaxies.

Neutron star merger

New supernova constraints on dark energy

New dwarf planet bigger than Pluto/Eris

Lost historical comet

5 million asteroids and comets

50,000 near-Earth asteroids

Object likely to impact Earth

Vera Rubin herself (faked death, stole spaceship)

Many very small dots

[Title:] Vera Rubin Observatory discoveries. Bingo Card.

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Discussion

somehow I feel that you would never get bingo. 29 July 15:54 2026

Maybe you would if it was over the next decade or century 2600:1700:3B93:1020:81C9:9080:A87:F649 21:13, 29 July 2026 (UTC)

"Many very small dots" might be related to "Little red dots" that were discovered by JWST. Barmar (talk) 20:09, 29 July 2026 (UTC)

I think the downward diagonal would be the easiest 115.70.50.124 21:01, 29 July 2026 (UTC)

Or maybe the left column Logalex8369 (talk) 21:07, 29 July 2026 (UTC)

I believe that the one mentioning signals coming from a kitchen may also be in reference to the recent 3275: Calibration Nobel. (Edit: fixed typo) 2600:1700:3B93:1020:81C9:9080:A87:F649 21:13, 29 July 2026 (UTC)

I feel like the entire concept for this comic was centered around the free space pun. 136.56.54.87 21:21, 29 July 2026 (UTC)

Check out the official RUBINgo game.
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