Title text: Don't you know? The chances of a random object being a scone are about one in six.
Cueball and Beret Guy are on a mission, intending to destroy whatever machine they are in, except that Beret Guy tends to be a bit surreal and brought a bag for holding pastries instead of explosive charges.
This is not the first time he's made such a bakery mistake; see 434: xkcd Goes to the Airport.
He then attempts to eat what Cueball identifies as lug nuts, believing them to be scones. In reality, lug nuts do not look very similar to scones. He bites into them and it hurts him, but as he says, maybe some of them are not lug nuts, and he wishes to test them all.
The title text further emphasizes Beret Guy's obsession with bakery goods, by stating that if a random object is selected, there will be a 1/6 chance that it is a scone, which explains his behavior with the lug nuts. This is, of course, a ridiculous assertion, as if it were true, more than 16% of all things in the universe would have to be scones. Beret Guy and scones are also referenced in the title text of both 677: Asshole and 1030: Keyed.
- [Beret Guy and Cueball are rappelling down separate ropes into the interior workings of a large machine.]
- Cueball: Okay, we're in the belly of the machine. You got the charges?
- Beret Guy: The what?
- [The two are standing next to some large pieces of machinery.]
- Cueball [gesturing]: The explosive charges!
- Beret Guy [pulling out a bag]: I just brought this bag for pastries.
- Cueball: The hell? We're on a mission here!
- Beret Guy [looking around]: This isn't a bakery?
- Cueball [head in hand]: Oh, Christ, not this shit again.
- Beret Guy [crouching by some lug nuts lying on a piece of machinery]: What about these scones?
- Cueball: Those are lug nuts.
- Beret Guy [stuffing them in his mouth]: ...Maybe SOME of them aren't. crunch Ow! crunch
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