884: Rogers St.
Title text: 'We can also use middle names in place of first pet's names, but yours is something incomprehensible about dropping tables.'
This comic is a reference to the game of creating your "porn star name" by putting your pet's name as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name. For example: Max (Dog's name) Pine (Street name). In this comic, Randall would have named his cat "Mister" and had moved to "Rogers" Street and so his kid's porn name would be "Mister Rogers" (from the children's show Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, and previously the topic of 767: Temper), which is pretty high on the unsexy name scale (if there was one) especially for a porn actor, although it may attract people with weird sexual fetishes.
In this way, Randall has prevented his kid from getting into porn.
In the title text, he references the other way of creating a porn star name by using your middle name as your first name and the street still as your last name. Additionally, the title text references comic 327: Exploits of a Mom in which Mrs. Roberts puts SQL instructions into her son's name so that it will mess with the database at school. In the comic, the kid's name is
Robert'); DROP TABLE students;-- and we are led to believe the person in the comic above may be the same Little Bobby Tables. His middle name supposedly would be
'); DROP TABLE students;--, which is something incomprehensible about dropping tables
(In SQL, commands are separated by semicolons
;, and strings of text are often delimited using single quotes
'. Parts of commands may also be enclosed in parentheses
). Data entries are stored as "rows" within named "tables" of similar items (e.g.,
Students). The command to delete an entire table (and thus every row of data in that table) is
DROP TABLE, as in
DROP TABLE Students;).
If this is indeed Bobby Tables shown trying to get into porn using his pet and street name, then he has grown considerably since his last appearance from the above mentioned comic where he talks to his mother Mrs. Roberts, the famous hacker, who gave him the name with the code. Given his developing curly hair and looks that have taken him to the porn industry, it was clever of her to move to Roger St... But that seems her way, being clever with names.
Here's a link to the location of Rogers Street, which is near Kendall Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- [A person with long curly hair is standing to the right of a hanging crocked on the wall behind him. A person speaks from off-panel (a judge of some sort, according to the official transcript). Given the title text there is reason to believe the long haired "woman" is indeed a man named Bobby Tables.]
- Sign: Auditions
- Judge: Seriously?
- Judge: Sorry, no, that's a huge mood killer.
- Judge: Next!
- [Caption below the panel]
- Before I have a kid, I'm moving to Rogers Street in Cambridge, MA, and then getting a cat named "Mister"
- Just to guarantee the kid will never go into porn.
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