2980: Lava Lakes

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Lava Lakes

Title text: Hey, golf balls float on lava, so this should make recovering them from the hazards easier.

Explanation

The comic shows Megan talking to Black Hat, mentioning the common myth that there's a lava lake in the crater of every volcano. She points out that there are really only around five lava-filled volcano craters in the world right now.

In true Black Hat fashion, he responds to this by creating a new lava lake on a nearby golf course. Given that Megan was still waiting when Black Hat came back, the attention span of most people is shorter than the time it takes lava lakes to form and that sane people do not build golf courses directly over active volcanoes,^{[actual citation needed]} Black Hat would've needed to dig at least 8 kilometers of earth within a very short timespan. This could be an extension to modern, AI-based technologies, of the blackhat cracker concept of using novel innovation for harm, and hence a strong commentary on the danger and power present in the modern algorithmic research environment. Since this action was prompted by Megan's remark, Black Hat likely did not build or move anything capable of making a lava lake to the golf course beforehand.

The title text mentions that golf balls will float on lava, making recovering them from hazards easier (man-made obstacles such as sand or water, with sinking in the latter being the more obvious hazard to change). The density of a normal golf ball is about 1.13 grams per cubic centimeter, which is significantly less than the 2.4 ~ 2.9 grams per cubic centimeter of lava. It would be very easy to retrieve golf balls from lava because of this, if it were not for the fact that lava is hot. Lava is around 800 °C, while most golf balls are made of materials that ignite at 400-500 °C, and it could also be somewhat awkward for any hand that goes to retrieve it. Not to mention that the interaction of lava with solids at STP tends to be violent. It would presumably also be extremely difficult to wipe lava from the surface of a golf ball, both while the lava is fresh and then changing to different challenges as it cools. Attempts to retrieve golf balls from lava would be profoundly dangerous, and have a vanishingly small probability of success.

These may be the 5 volcano lakes that the comic references (source):

• Erta Ale in Ethiopia
• Mount Erebus on Ross Island, Antarctica
• Kīlauea Halemaʻumaʻu on Hawaiʻi (Big Island) [no active lake in September 2024]
• Nyiragongo in the Democratic Republic of the Congo
• Mount Michael on Saunders Island, South Sandwich Islands

Transcript

[Megan and Black Hat are talking, with Megan holding up one hand towards Black Hat]

Megan: People think volcano craters are full of lava, but that’s rare. There are only five or so lava lakes in the world right now.

[Black Hat puts one hand up to his chin]

Black Hat: Interesting.

[Black Hat walks out of frame off to the right]

[Megan stands while three distinct off-panel sound effects come from the right]

Rumble

Crash

BOOOOM

[Black Hat walks back into frame]

Megan: What did you—

Black Hat: There are six now.

Off-panel voice to the right: Why is the golf course erupting!?

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Discussion

yoo wait this is cool first yay TheTrainsKid (talk) 01:05, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

yoo 172.70.230.159 01:24, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Bro Why'd you delete my comment TheTrainsKid (talk) 01:29, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

the wiki is a strange place where sometimes two people edit at the same time and it causes funny things Me^{[citation needed]} 01:34, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Third post! RadiantRainwing (talk) 01:29, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

we're so back Me^{[citation needed]} 01:52, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

I do not think this current discussion is actually about XKCD at all, much less this comic. Perhaps the internet itself is that sixth lava lake, with all the hot mess it contains. 172.68.22.253 02:54, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

What was this "internet"? 172.71.151.74 13:51, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

In fact, the Volcano Golf Course [1] is built on an active volcano, Kilauea.

Also on Hawaii Island is the Hualalai Golf Course, which is one of several that have been built on the Hualalai volcano, which erupts less frequently than Kilauea, but is nonetheless considered active (the Kona airport is built on an 1801 lava flow). 172.71.147.86 05:04, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Immediately I start wondering why there might not have been a perfectly workable airport beneath the 1801 lava flow. (Ok, so it might not have had a Starbucks, as Moby-Dick was only written in 1851, so clearly you couldn't have had that chain of coffee-shops yet.) 172.70.162.208 08:59, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

It would have only been able to serve flying boats, and Pan Am discontinued flying boat service in 1946. The previous land airstrip was in downtown Kailua Kona, and the good folks of leeward Hawaii Island decided they needed a place designed to serve larger aircraft than DC-3s, and not terrify the tourists in their hotel rooms in the process. 172.71.151.74 13:51, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

Right, I should've been more clear on what I meant, which was that "no sane person would build a golf courses directly over the crater of active volcanoes" TheTrainsKid (talk) 03:41, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Check out the Volcano Golf Course on Google Earth. It's pretty damn close to the caldera. 172.71.147.191 05:12, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

FWIW, there hasn't been a lava lake in Kilauea's crater for a couple of years now. 172.71.147.191 05:12, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Is the female character Megan, or Danish? Hair length and association with Black Hat suggest the latter. 172.71.147.191 05:12, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

In my headcanon, I think Danish (btw, [[Danish]] is the simpler link form, here) would not normally be asking what Black Hat did, but instead (maybe) how he did it or probably just "Did you..?", already having this in mind. She would be traditionally be devious/sociopathic enough to have made the comment just now in order that Black Hat would do (something like) this.

Image-wise, the figure sits somewhere between the 'reference images' of Megan's hair (right thickness, grown a bit longer here) and that of Danish (finer and more casually-longer), and there are a number of ambiguous appearances that are just a subtle change in hair away from either, so I couldn't say for sure without taking into account the dialogue/activities involved. 172.70.163.49 09:18, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Someone went back and changed all "Danish"es to "Megan"s (it took several tries, and they only deleted the "Comics featuring..." Category, I had to put the correct one back in for them...). After earlier multiple edits were used to convert the original primary presumption of Megan into that of a definite presumption of Danish.

I can imagine that someone thinking of re-Danishing the article might have another go, because of the ambiguity (as above, the character seems more Megan-like than Danish-esque, to me, by both attitude and subtleties of her form, but I'm happy with either). If one feels the need to do it, though, at least do a text-search-and-highlight (however your own browser does that), to make sure you grab all cases in one go. And vice-versa for who inevitably changes it back.

Or compromise... Introduce her as "...a female character (either [Megan] or [Danish])...", something similar in the Transcript (no links) and otherwise ambiguate all further references to her. Then perhaps end with both "Category:Comics featuring..." Cats on one line with HTML comment indicating the either/or nature of this possibility.

...At least until we can work out for certain who Randall intended (or that it's even A.N.Other/Jane Doe, just oh so very similar to both others). 172.70.162.208 18:23, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

I don't know and it's NOMB whether Randall visits this site. If he were to see this exchange, I wonder how hard he'd be laughing. 108.162.246.94 19:15, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

I, for one, would not mind at all if he does. (Laugh, that is. It'd be repayment for the laughs we get from his scribblings.)

That said, either he actually stays well away or he deliberately feigns that he does (in order not to get into unnecessary minutiæ), and I don't think we'll get any direct feedback on this. @theRealRandallMunroe (talk) OopsWhatAGiveaway... 141.101.98.83 20:35, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

There ia not need to say "right now", this is superfluous language & a verbal tic. 172.70.162.163 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

It adds context that this is not a fixed situation - that other volcanoes have contained and will contain lava lakes, while it's only a contingent state of the current five.172.70.90.34 08:15, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Fifteenth comment!141.101.98.174 08:10, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Last comment. And there's absolutely no way that I can be proven wrong, in this whole silly game of oneupmanship! 172.70.162.208 08:59, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

If you fund my Kickstarter, I will add a 7th. Do not ask where, but rather take a guess :) 141.101.99.190 09:38, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

I removed the Incomplete Transcription warning. - clevor 172.71.166.218 13:04, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

I assumed the lava lake would be used like a sand trap, so the golfer would want to hit the ball, rather than collect it. As such, the ball would likely be coated with a material of sufficiently high combustion temperature to be able to survive (at least for a while) on the surface of the lava. The golfer would then require shoes that allow for walking on the lake, but I believe such exist. My question is, how difficult would it be to hit the golf ball off of the surface of the "lake"? There would be the added challenge of a "divot" composed of some of the lava following the ball, but at least you shouldn't need to worry about "repairing" the damage? Galeindfal (talk) 15:55, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

My gut feeling (awaiting the results of further testing) is that lava adhered to your ball would impede your play. Unfortunately, current USGA rules would only allow you to clean away just enough to be able to identify your ball (e.g. if your ball was entirely encased in rock, you would be allowed to chip away at the rock until you can see the ball at which point you would have to stop chipping. This means that, tactically speaking, you would want to chip away at the outside, and at the areas where you don't think the ball actually is, first to attempt to remove as much rock as possible before the ball can be seen.) You would not be allowed a full cleaning until you reached the green.

One slight advantage would be that an encased rock ball would result in a lot more embedded pitches (where a ball lands with enough force to create its own divot) which would permit you to move your ball a club-length away to escape the divot. It is probable that this advantage would not be enough to offset the disadvantage of having to hit a ball encased in lava rock.

The introduction of lava hazards would likely require a new section in the rulebook to cover the above issues as well as the use of rock tumblers as enhanced cleaning machines, the introduction of new club types designed to survive the rigours of lava play, permissible footwear and enhanced caddy insurance policies. Tommyds (talk) 08:55, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

This article contains a cool photo of golfers with a huge ash cloud erupting behind them: [2] It's probably a safe distance, really, but the photo makes it look as if it was right behind them. Scary! The article doesn't feature any lava lake, though. PaulEberhardt (talk) 17:47, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Two miles (3.2 klicks) from the golf course to Halemaumau, the main vent of the Kilauea summit caldera. (pats and caresses ground) Good volcano. Nice volcano. The eruption cloud shown resulted from the draining of the lava lake that had been in Halemaumau for a decade or so, before an earthquake opened a hole in the magma chamber. The lava flowed underground down the mountain and resurfaced in the Leilani Estates housing subdivision, destroying much of it. This was 2018 (as shown in the picture caption). We were living on the Big Island at the time (in Kailua Kona, safely on the other side of Mauna Loa from the eruption). Fun times! Sorta. 172.68.22.211 18:20, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

I see. Thanks for the info. This is fascinating! Heh, and apparently it is a picture of golf players at a lava lake in a way, then. I can also tell living on certain islands is anything but boring. :) PaulEberhardt (talk) 21:15, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

"This could be an extension to modern, AI-based technologies, of the blackhat cracker concept of using novel innovation for harm, and hence a strong commentary on the danger and power present in the modern algorithmic research environment. " I don't think this has anything to do with AI. 172.70.80.213 20:28, 14 September 2024 (UTC)