2570: Captain Picard Tea Order

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Captain Picard Tea Order

Title text: We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser.

• This was the fifth comic to come out after the Countdown in header text started.

Explanation

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by EXTRUDED EARL GREY- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon. If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard is the captain of the starship USS Enterprise in the TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation. Earl Grey tea is a beverage that he requests many times in the series, with the exact phrase "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." Randall is parodying this expression with other words that could follow "Tea. Earl Grey.", from "most normal" to "least normal".

The machine that Picard is using is a replicator, which can create objects, such as Picard's requested Earl Grey tea. The title text refers to the last item, "Tea for him, too." which presumes that the replicator has produced a regular (unspecified) tea and "Earl Grey", a person (either one of the Earl Greys or a person named Grey with the title of earl), and Picard has requested a tea for him. And so Picard also will ask the Earl for his exact order of tea after he is fully created.

Word	Explanation
Hot	A fairly normal word to be used when ordering tea. Although that it even needs specifying is itself a clue that other variations (such as "Iced", below) are available.
Iced	Iced Tea is a 'normal' variation of tea.
Decaf	Traditional teas (from Camellia sinensis) tend to have caffeine in them. Asking for decafeinated tea is not particularly uncommon if the drinker requires it.
Good	A normal, subjective term. Most people drinking tea would want it to be good.
Lukewarm	While this is a temperature that tea can be at, most people do not want their teas to be lukewarm.
Tasty
Boiled	Boiling tea is a common way to increase the flavor and nutrients extracted from the tea leaves.
Watery	Tea is a drink that often involves water.
Sour	Many people do not enjoy a sour taste, which can indicate rot and is a strange thing to specify when ordering Earl Grey tea.
Meaty	Most teas are plant-based.
Solid	Tea is usually drunk as a liquid. It would be strange to ask for solid tea.
Dry	Tea is a liquid typically made with water and may have milk. A dry version might be either unmade (e.g. tealeaves in their un-infused form) or as if freeze-dried back into a dehydrated form. ("Dry" can also be used to describe less-sweet varities of wine or enforced alcohol-free scenarios. For either option, it assumes a default serving with an alcoholic component, or an entirely alternate basis for the beverage, which the request needs to be specify it is not.)
Raw	This describes tea that has not been "cooked", so it would just be tea made with room-temperature water.
Deep-fried	Tea is not usually deep-fried.
Sticky
Grilled	Tea is not usually grilled.
Fossilized
Magnetic	Tea is not magnetic. Magnetic metals would have to be added to the tea, which would not be pleasant to drink.
Ballistic	Usually, the replicated beverage is deposited in a stationary cup, but Picard could ask for it to be dropped or thrown out instead.
Unstable
Blessed	Tea is a beverage, and it may be strange to ask a machine to create 'blessed' tea.
Blurry	Being blurry is not a normal state for tea to have.
Loud	Tea does not make loud noises normally. In the comic, Picard has ordered loud Earl Grey tea, which is screaming "TEEEEEEEEE" very loudly and vibrating wildly.
Virtual	Virtual tea cannot be produced physically, so asking a physical tea machine for it would be very strange.
Intravenous
Expanding
Ironic
Segmented	Tea is usually served in a cup. It tends to stick together and form one liquid. Separating the tea into segments would not be possible.
Verbose	This describes using lots of words and language, and would not likely be used for tea, because it cannot speak.[citation needed]
Cursed
Unexpected	By definition, Picard is asking for tea, expecting it promptly. Perhaps the request for it to be "unexpected" would cause it to be delivered at an unknown time in the future, or to have some alteration.
Bipedal	Tea does not walk.[citation needed] This would be a very strange term to use when describing tea.
Afraid	Tea does not have feelings.
Infinite
Tea for him, too	Earl Grey is a tea blend. Taken along with the context of the title text, this Replicator order is for "Tea" (not otherwise qualified), a replicated version of the Earl Grey (one or other of those of that name, possibly the 2nd) and a second beverage for his own sake.
Descriptions included in comic, but not on the line
Cold	Like Iced tea, asking for cold tea is a relatively normal request.
Pink	Earl grey is usually an orange-brown color, not pink.

Transcript

This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.

[There is a line going towards the bottom of the panel in a curve with marks and words next to them. Various pictures of Captain Picard, are displayed next to the curves.]

[Caption at top of the panel:]

Other words Captain Picard tried at the end of his tea order before settling on "hot"

[Subtitle below the caption:]

From most normal to least

[Picard stands next to a machine labeled 'REPLICATOR', giving a command. Some options such as 'Good,' 'Cold,' 'Dry,' and 'Pink' are displayed perpendicularly adjacent to 'Hot', the latter clearly selected.]

Picard: Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

[Below, another version of Picard standing next to the replicator is displayed. Picard is holding a cup, with sticky lines connecting his hands and the machine]

Picard: Tea. Earl Grey. Sticky.

[This time, Picard is holding a vibrating cup and large letters are displayed in the background to the exclusion of all else.]

Picard: Tea. Earl Grey. Loud.

Teacup: TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Words on the arrow from start to finish. The tail of the arrow is labeled 'Normal.' There is a parallel arrow pointing in the same direction labeled 'Less normal.']

Hot

Iced

Decaf

Good

Lukewarm

Tasty

Boiled

Watery

Sour

Meaty

Solid

Dry

Raw

Deep-fried

Sticky

Grilled

Fossilized

Magnetic

Ballistic

Unstable

Blessed

Blurry

Loud

Virtual

Intravenous

Expanding

Ironic

Segmented

Verbose

Cursed

Unexpected

Bipedal

Afraid

Infinite

Tea for him, too

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Discussion

...Builders. I mean, Picard is French and Trek(/Randall) is 'Merican but I suspect it would still be a valid option to give the Ready-Room replicator... 172.70.91.126 23:31, 19 January 2022 (UTC)

In Star Trek: Picard, Picard is seen requesting "tea, earl gray, decaf". 172.69.68.202 03:33, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I would call for a ^{[citation needed]} here. In case you can supply it, put it in the table under defac. --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I put it in with [1] as ref. 172.68.50.43 14:29, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

But how warm is it? Kev (talk) 20:09, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Presumably infinite tea could be the beverage to accompany Endless Wings. Nitpicking (talk) 03:45, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

This joke should only come on a Tuesday! And I'm annoyed you beat me to it ;-) But at leat I found another infinity joke first 1433: Lightsaber. --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I assumed infinite tea was just a bad pun - as in 'To infinite tea and beyond!' 162.158.159.85 09:12, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

To infinity and beyond from Toy Story you mean? Good point.--Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I showed it to a friend an their response was: "[In early 20th century England] they added condensed beef stock to their tea for breakfast", so meaty tea is very much a possibility. Then they linked some brand promotional materials for "Vimbos: The Prince of Fluid Beef" and "Vimbos: an ox in a teacup". Because I was just about to sign off for the evening, I'm not going to do the due diligence to research, cite, and edit the main article to reflect this discovery--but I thought it should at least be written here to see if others found it interesting enough to add. Dextrous Fred (talk) 04:21, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Bovril is a standard beef tea 172.70.85.79 07:40, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Meaty is also a term that could be used to describe robustly flavoured teas, such as an Assam. Not likely to be used for Earl Grey, though.162.158.159.85 09:18, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Should be added to the explanation... --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

The concept of iced tea is not normal, especially as Picard is English. Almost but not quite, totally unlike tea. Arachrah (talk) 08:46, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Intravenous tea, on the other hand, is an entirely reasonable request. 162.158.159.85 09:13, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

But we agree that Icetea is? Could be seen as that. --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Picard is actually natively, and by name, French. Born not far from the Swiss border, his family running a vinyard there. Though he indeed seems to be quite the Anglophile (steadfastly English by accent!) and we don't entirely know how the (re)merging of Europe may have affected cultural and social inheritances on the other side of the Eugenics Wars (and other civilisation-upturning shifts in terran future-history) from where we are now. 172.70.162.5 12:45, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Are you thinking of Patrick Stewart being English? Kev (talk) 20:09, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Me? (172.70.162.5, just above.) Not really. Stewart is from Kirklees (not far from Huddersfield, though an accent or two away), yet unless he consciously drifts back he tends to stick to his professional English voice. But Picard is from eastern France and proud of it, though his accent (when speaking English) is also very... English.

When an episode has him on the Holodeck, at least when he's having fun without some Holodeck-located threat currently happening, he can drift into a Shakespearean bit-part dialect or Film Noir-style American to suit the program running at the time, but Picard's natural tone seems to be quite RP. Obviously proving that the future has developed the near-perfect scenario of traditional French wine being made by those with cut-glass English accents. :-p 172.70.90.121 20:36, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I kind of think that the explanation should give more emphasis to the fact that the whole comic is basically just a convoluted set-up for the Earl Grey joke.141.101.98.145 09:20, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Agree have just added a line to that affect. --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Disagree that this was the whole purpose. It's a punchline, but not sure it dictated where it was eventually going. That it goes into it twice (least-normal affix and then the titletext) reads more as stumbling to that conclusion rather than carefully aiming at this particular wham-line. But YMMV. 172.70.86.22 12:50, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I disagree that separating the tea into segments would not be possible. You simply need a segmented mug or cup. That would, though, probably prove difficult to drink, unless he used a straw.141.101.98.145 09:28, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

While I'm normally the first to jump in on the ^{[citation needed]} joke, that would have to be applied to almost every single line of the explanation, so I propose Not Doing That. I accept criticism and counter arguments --Evidently the unfunny person here (talk) 09:45, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Great, this has been used way too much. It is often not very funny. And in my opinion should really be used only when citation is needed^{[citation needed]} :-p --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I disagree on that last thing, for that we have ^{[actual citation needed]} 256.256.256.256 (talk) 12:31, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Could the "infinite" also be a reference to the paperclip maker thought experiment - the replicator will consume the universe to get raw materials and energy to make more and more tea. 141.101.98.225 10:09, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Definitely a problem with a machine that makes thing out of energy, is that is need lots of energy. --Kynde (talk) 11:22, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

I liked "verbose". Most software run from a command line has a "-verbose" or "-v" option which causes it to give more information about what it's doing, usually useful for the purpose of debugging. Rather than providing more information about the tea, I expect that "tea, earl grey, verbose" would result in the replicator giving a step-by-step explanation as it looks up the recipe for tea, selects appropriate raw materials (does it use particles from the air or something?), begins replicating, finishes replicating, and tests that the final product is within normal parameters. Of course, this might mean that the replicator runs more slowly while doing this; which could be useful if he's getting tea as an excuse to take a break from an argument of some kind. Perhaps the replicator even has a 'traditional' tea making mode, where it pauses and describes a more conventional method of tea-making as if there were an invisible chef with a kettle and a teapot somewhere just out of sight. Angel (talk) 11:07, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

What if the countdown is actually to season 2 of [[2]]

Star Trek: Picard (season 2) is set to run from March 3, which both Wikipedia (link before) and IMDb agrees upon så bad to miss by more than a month, and what would the plane in the image have to do with this anyway ;-) --Kynde (talk) 12:08, 21 January 2022 (UTC)

How about Jean Lucwarm tea? 172.69.69.90 00:41, 21 January 2022 (UTC) How about we don't. That is an AWFUL pun! ( which means I wish I had thought of it first 'cause I actually find it hilarious ;^)172.70.130.153 11:30, 21 January 2022 (UTC)

I'd like to think that the Earl Grey mentioned at the bottom was CGP Grey as an Earl. Mikeb108 (talk) 18:46, 21 January 2022 (UTC)

I'd imagine there ought to be mention of milk/no milk. Not very funny, granted, but it's a fairly major consideration in the tea-making process, being a standard (or indeed mandatory) ingredient for many consumers. In the case of Earl Grey however it is generally regarded as optional (or perhaps incorrect, by those who have opinions about the propriety of such things), so it's a pretty key variable, and belongs close to the top of the list. Yorkshire Pudding (talk) 11:10, 22 January 2022 (UTC)

That link to season 2 trailer doesn't seem to work. Is that this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feQTh-6M7pc -- Hkmaly (talk) 05:59, 23 January 2022 (UTC)

This page has been vandalized, we need to fix that MysticalMHM (talk) 00:20, 4 May 2022 (UTC)

I don't think "raw" tea would be tea steeped in room-temperature water, I think it would be tea made from fresh (unprocessed/non-dried) leaves. Possibly even just the leaves themselves. L-Space Traveler (talk) 15:24, 5 November 2023 (UTC)