3225: Satellite Pollution

Satellite Pollution

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Title text: We're working to make sure the images are as up-to-date and accurate as possible, with a minimum number of sponsored galaxies.

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Explanation

This is one of 71 incomplete explanations: This page was created recently by a SATELLITE BOT SHOWING A FAKE XKCD COMIC. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

A common concern with new satellite constellations like Starlink is that the fact that they rely on large numbers, they make ground-based astronomy more difficult by adding more noise and possibly obscuring targets.

A more recent concern is the "collapse" of Google Image Search, where trying to find a real picture of a historical event or scientific phenomenon, will now produce an unwieldly amount of results produced by generative AI.

This comic satirizes the two by talking about a hypothetical satellite company that launches *deliberately* inaccurate starmaps to be overlaid across the night sky. This would not only obscure a fair amount of stars from view, but also show stars that don't actually exist in the night sky, thus providing confusion for astronomers, seeing stars not on their starmaps, & making them look unreliable. Why anyone would do this is unknown, with its only purpose to confuse & mess with people. However, it could be just the doings of a very certain someone...

Of course, such a plan would have many problems in implementing, such as the pure size & strength needed for the banner to survive in space, & be large enough to be noticed by casual observers. Also, the banner would need to have its own light source, powerful enough to be seen from earth. The lights could easily be seen from earth depending on the distance the banner is from the earth and how powerful the lights are. See what if laser pointer

The title text takes the concept further, implying that the company is somehow offering sponsorship to certain galaxies, despite galaxies not being known for being sentient, or able to provide a sponsorship. It is unclear how exactly these sponsorships are being done, possibly doing banners to advertise certain galaxies, though what for is unknown. Possibly to encourage people to visit the various sponsored galaxies, although many of them would be incredibly far away, & unreachable by current space travel.

Transcript

[White Hat and Ponytail are standing on the left, Cueball is on the right, in front of a poster on the wall. The poster has a portion of the Earth at the bottom, with outer space above it. The space scene has lots of stars, along with a few nebulae and galaxies. Part of the space scene is enclosed in a quadrilateral (apparently a rectangle skewed by perspective) which is attached at the middle of its left side to a much smaller object.]

Ponytail: Aren't you worried these will be disruptive for ground-based astronomy?

Cueball: No, why?

[Caption below comic:]

My new company is being criticized for our satellites that deploy 100-mile-wide banners painted with inaccurate pictures of the night sky.

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Discussion

I'm surprised this isn't Black Hat's operation RDiMartino (talk) 21:34, 27 March 2026 (UTC)

He created the company, Cueball is Marketing. Barmar (talk) 21:49, 27 March 2026 (UTC)

Space mirrors have been in the news lately. 2603:8081:9700:1224:0:0:0:3 03:50, 28 March 2026 (UTC)

As explained in https://what-if.xkcd.com/58/ this wouldn't work anyway since the banner would be moving at 7.8 km/s, or else it would need to be hung from a space-elevator-like counterweight located beyond GSO. If cueball accomplishes THAT kind of feat, I think the astronomers would be more impressed than annoyed. 2A02:590:121B:4001:9505:CE66:9EEB:2974 21:42, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
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