3243: Crystal Gazing

Crystal Gazing

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Title text: 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.

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Explanation

This is one of 45 incomplete explanations: This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress^{[citation needed]}) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the age of the Earth by analyzing zircon. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO₄. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-208 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where vales are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. Geologists are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), heliophysicists can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe cosmologists don't know what was happening during and before the big bang. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

Transcript

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[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a chart with two lines intersecting.]

Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.

Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

[Caption below comic:]

Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

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Discussion

F1RST P0ST!!--158.123.138.25 17:52, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

Not counting any posts made before the vale and/or veil of fire. 150.221.155.241 22:10, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

Why is it "vale of fire" instead of "veil of fire"? 174.20.245.60 18:06, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

"vale" is a poetic term for a valley. Barmar (talk) 19:06, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

That is indeed the definition, but seems less appropriate than "veil" which has the connotation of blocking/obscuring.174.20.245.60 20:59, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

Not just a poetic term, but used in placenames (e.g. the "Vale of Evesham"), a vale generally more being a wide valley/flood-plain, framed by hills, rather than a 'mere' river-cut. But one of the more figurative/poetic terms I hear used is "vale of tears", a particularly sorrowful episode of life.

(PPE: a 'veil' and a 'vale' of obscuration would each be rather different concepts. Veil is a thin barrier, vale a 'territory' of (iin this case) inpenetrability. I think the chosen wor is as good a term, if not better, than the other... But, I don't know if it's an intentional choice or merely a slipup that fortunately landed on a somewhat-synonymic term.) 81.179.199.253 21:09, 8 May 2026 (UTC)

I think there's definitely a "veil" pun going on there. "Beyond the veil" is something you can't see. Dogman15 (talk) 02:46, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Alternative the vale of fire for the heliophysists could just be the photosphere, a barrier in space rather than time.76.180.39.133 01:44, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

I'm not sure if "before the big bang" is a meaningful concept, at least from the inside of the universe. BunsenH (talk) 03:48, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Pretty darn sure that would be >18bya, 4.5bya would be the beginning of our start and planetary systemSeebert (talk) 18:09, 11 May 2026 (UTC)

Um, what's the complaint about, exactly? 81.179.199.253 20:14, 11 May 2026 (UTC)

I think Seebert has assumed that BunsenH's comment was in reference to the aging of the Earth in the first paragraph, whereas it was actually related to a now removed reference to the Big Bang in the last paragraph. 82.13.184.33 13:42, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

Surely the vale of fire for early universe cosmologists is the surface of last scattering? 137.25.230.78 07:13, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

I'm fairly certain the 'vale of fire' is not always time-related, but also physical. Edited it to better reflect that.174.89.130.8 15:04, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

Is “vale” supposed to mean veil? 68.187.4.2 (talk) 15:59, 11 May 2026 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

See above... 81.179.199.253 20:27, 11 May 2026 (UTC)

In the forward prophet of non-doom category, will the next comic be another Tuesday comic? 2603:8081:9700:1224:0:0:0:2 05:29, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

Keep on misreading this as Crystal Glazing. Dunno what that implies but keeps on happening. RG (talk) 01:04, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

It implies a cut-gem window?

Either that or it imp ies the  ack of ' 's in a near y- egib e f ow of  egitimate  iteracy is  ess prob ematic for the  ikes of yourse f, as your interna ised  ogic supp ies them f aw ess y on your beha f. Un ess it goles wronlg, las abolve, land stlarts plutlting theml black lin wherle nolnel werel milssling iln thle firlst llinlstlalnclel. In which case, you're hope ess y  olsltll... ;) 82.132.238.68 16:03, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

I'm proud to say that I successfully read this. Somehow. Nearly had a stroke and fell off a cliff whilst being eaten by a cougar though. RG (talk) 01:52, 18 May 2026 (UTC)
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