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Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Planetary Alignment
We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the test stand. Which ocean basin do you like the least?
Title text: We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the test stand. Which ocean basin do you like the least?

Explanation

In this comic, Ponytail (presumably a planetary mechanic) is informing Cueball of the results of a planetary inspection.

According to her, the planet needs to be re-aligned, as the magnetic and rotational axes of the planet are 400 miles (640 km) offset from each other, which could create a number of problems with the planet, such as unbalanced magnetic fields. This is presented in the same casual manner as a car mechanic might regarding wheel alignment, or perhaps even the tire balance.

Ponytail mentions radiation anomalies over the South Atlantic ocean. This is a real phenomenon, known as the South Atlantic Anomaly, where satellites experience increased malfunctions and solar radiation is higher than average due to the alignment of the magnetic field as well as a massive rock structure underneath Africa.

In the final panel, Ponytail says that they will provide a loaner planet while Earth is in the shop. This is typically done with vehicles, not planets,[citation needed] but perhaps this particular shop has a very large back room. Ponytail then asks if a gas giant is okay, as they are out of solid surface planets. This is likely alluding to the practice of car dealerships offering replacements or loaner vehicles that are very different from those brought in for service, which can greatly frustrate and inconvenience the customer.

The title text continues the mechanic metaphor, stating that they (the shop) will have to modify Earth to fit it on the test stand, asking Cueball which ocean basin he like the least, implying that they intend to remove or alter one of the Earth's oceans to mount it for adjustment and retesting.

The similar previous comics 3037 and 3059 also had Ponytail as an inspector complaining about problems with the planet as if they were the client Cueball's fault.

Transcript

[Ponytail is approaching from off-screen, holding a clipboard and some sort of testing device. She is speaking to Cueball, standing to the right.]
Ponytail: The inspection revealed a few problems.
Ponytail: Looks like your planet needs an alignment.
Cueball: Oh?
[Close up of Ponytail.]
Ponytail: Yeah, your magnetic axis is 400 miles off-center from your rotational one.
Cueball (off-panel): Is that bad?
[The view zooms back out, showing Ponytail holding her equipment, with Cueball holding a hand to his face, as if thinking.]
Ponytail: The unbalanced magnetic field could cause radiation anomalies over the South Atlantic. Have you notice any spacecraft equipment failures in that area?
Cueball: There have been a few, actually.
[The final panel shows the same as the third.]
Ponytail: We can give you a loaner while yours is in the shop. Is a gas giant okay?
Cueball: I'd really prefer a solid surface.
Ponytail: Sorry, it's all we have. But it'll just be for a few days.


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