540: Base System

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Base System

Title text: I once got to second base with a basketball player. She was so confused.

Explanation

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This comic is a pun on the Baseball metaphor used to describe how far a date went regarding erotic actions. The comic depicts a more complex version of the explanation adding a lot more baseball jargon. The title text mixes the metaphor with basketball to make the confusion even bigger.

The following actions are depicted as being out of play (not regarded as erotic actions or erotically active):

• Eye contact (however Eye contact from Janeane Garofalo is considered into play)
• You
• Binary speak (the binary numbers are an ASCII representation of the characters "base 2".)
• Star trek fanboy fantasies (Replacing Riker's name with the one of your crush.)

After first base (kissing) comes a boring zone (at least for boys) as this is the zone where you move from kissing to stroking on the arm or back or face to finally make it to the breasts or other more "interesting" parts.

Transcript

[Cueball and Ponytail are talking; Ponytail's sitting on the back of a chair with her feet on the seat, and Cueball's sitting on the floor facing her.]

Ponytail: So how far did you get with her?

Cueball: Second base?

Ponytail: Wait, which one is that? Below the waist, but... not under the clothes?

Cueball: I think that's... shortstop?

Ponytail: You should try crossing the pitcher's mound. Then down the 50-yard line, and right past her ten-pin.

Cueball: Sounds tricky.

Ponytail: Yeah. Last time I tried it, I got a red flag. If you know what I mean.

Cueball: I really don't.

[A diagram of a baseball diamond.]

The "Base" Metaphor Explained

[Bases and x points are marked, as well as dashed lines covering the field.]

[Along the first base line is "Your Base".]

[Slightly right of that is a binary base:

0110 0010 0110 0001

0111 0011 0110 0101

0010 0000 0011 0010] ("base 2" in ASCII)

[First base: Kissing.]

[Second base: Hands under the shirt and/or licking.]

[Third base: Oral sex (formerly "hands in the pants").]

[The following are x marks.

Slightly right of home plate: Eye contact.

Along the first base line: Passing notes.

Slightly before first base: Downloading Star Trek fanfiction and replacing Riker's name with your Crush's.

Right field: Eye contact from Janeane Garofalo.

Between the pitcher and second base: Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse.

Near the shortstop: Dry humping.

Left of second base: Fursuits.

Farther left: Fursuits (crotchless).

Just before home plate: Thigh contact.

Beyond 3rd base, along the 3rd base line: Standing anywhere near Peaches.

Foul of the third base line: Anal sex (fill in your won "Foul Ball" pun here.)

Left outfield: 2outfielders1glove.

Left outfield: Retrograde wheelbarrow.]

[The following are dashed lines:

A region along the line from first to second base: The Boring Zone.

A line traveling across the second to third baseline, and towards home plate: The orgasm line. (dry humping is on the "orgasm" side.)

Between third base and home: "Virginity" (Maginot) line.)

(Arrows pointing out various other features:

An arrow crossing the "Virginity" line: Teens.

An arrow nearer to home plate: Sharing root PWs.

An arrow crossing the orgasm line in the outfield: Napoleon's forces.]

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Discussion

Panels 3 & 4 refer to yet other sports. A 50-yard line is a significant location in American football; a ten-pin is a specific pin location in bowling; and a red flag is a warning given in non-American football (what Amercians call soccer).

Soccer has a red card for expulsion from the field, not a flag. A red flag may be used to stop a race in motorsports.13:28, 1 December 2013 (UTC) 141.101.99.245 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I seriously doubt the 'red flag' has to do with a girl's menstration. A red flag usually is a warning to a player, probably indicating that Ponytail's partner didn't like that action and/or asked her to stop. 23:45, 10 August 2016 173.245.54.29

Yeah, that bit is unduly graphic. 162.158.78.41 19:04, 12 October 2022 (UTC)

The arrow indicating Napoleon's forces may be a reference to the classic map/diagram by Charles Joseph Minard, which shows not only the path Napoleon's army took on its Russian invasion, but also several other relevant categories of facts about that campaign, thus folding several conceptual dimensions into two. (sorry, should have signed this.) 108.162.219.209 07:44, 6 November 2013 (UTC)

As far as I know, the image I've added is for example purposes, and is such for fair use - but those wiser than I can feel free to check it. Here's where I found it. Jetman123 (talk) 23:57, 10 December 2013 (UTC)

This image is originally from Wikimedia Commons, and has been released into the public domain. Therefore your use is legal. --Troy0 (talk) 05:13, 25 July 2014 (UTC)

Using the scroll wheel on that one Apple mouse refers to the resemblance between its size and method of use and rubbing a woman's clitoris. 108.162.245.74 13:53, 10 August 2014 (UTC)

It says under the passing notes thing that it's for students with an interest in the opposite sex, implying that only heterosexual students pass notes. Not really a big deal but it just annoys me.103.22.201.75 13:16, 4 September 2014 (UTC)

I agree, and have modified the wording to cover note passing as a 'form of courting' --Pudder (talk) 11:39, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

The explanation says that the meaning behind the base 2 label is unknown. As far as I see it, the fact that binary uses base 2, and the base is labelled base 2 written in binary is a clear and obvious meaning. --Pudder (talk) 11:49, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

If you think in between first and second base is boring you're a bad kisser 172.68.189.19 03:46, 2 July 2018 (UTC)

i think your base is a reference to all your base are belong to us An user who has no account yet (talk) 16:34, 12 September 2023 (UTC)