1021: Business Plan
Title text: The investor elevator pitch is "Wheeeeeeee! Elevators are fun!"
This one has the art and feel of very early xkcd comics, even though those stick figures did not appear by that time.
Beret Guy has developed (or spontaneously implemented) a "business plan" whereby he lures seagulls to an area of a beach utilizing breadcrumbs. Once the gulls converge on the area, he sets up a sign reading "GULLS FOR SALE" with a jar for money. Though Beret Guy probably expects to profit, the confused reactions of other people in the last panel indicate nobody is buying, and the limited number of gulls, four, is low enough that their sale might not even finance the breadcrumbs. In real life, there is no market for seagulls, nor will there ever be in the foreseeable future.
The title text is a reference to the phrase "Elevator pitch", which is also similar to "investor pitch". The point of an elevator pitch is to have a synopsis of your idea that you are capable of delivering on a moment's notice in the time it takes to ride the elevator, about 30 seconds. This way, when you get that once-in-a-career opportunity to pitch your plan to the one person who can make it happen because you just happened to catch the same elevator, you are ready. The reason the elevator pitch is so simplistic is because the same sort of person that would think selling seagulls is a viable business model is likely the same sort of person to make a childish elevator pitch. This also pokes fun at the idea of people sweating over their pitch with such seriousness, when Beret Guy's pitch is literally a childish exclamation. Wheeee!
- [6 small panels extend across the width of the comic...]
- [Beret Guy stands on a shoreline and takes in the environment in silent contemplation.]
- [In a frame-less panel, Beret Guy heads off with an idea fresh in his head.]
- [Beret Guy saunters back with a jar, some bread, and a signboard.]
- [Beret Guy tears the bread off into pieces.]
- [Beret Guy sets up the signboard, with its contents yet to be revealed.]
- [Beret Guy heads off and waits for the plan to unfold.]
- [A large full-width panel below the first 6 small panels shows the same beach, this time with Megan and Cueball standing in front of and reading the sign. Cueball scratches his head. The bread has attracted quite a few gulls. There is a label on the jar.]
- Jar label: $
- Sign: Gulls for sale
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