279: Pickup Lines

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Pickup Lines

Title text: That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed onto the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's fucking do it and never look back.

Explanation

This comic adds strange twists to some classic abysmally cheesy pickup lines. Warning, terrible puns ahead:

• "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

Cueball is making a "your sister" joke. A different variation of this line is featured in 1069: Alphabet, and another "your sister" joke is made in 442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel.

• "Is your father a thief? Because he stole all of the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes."(Is Your Dad Pick Up Lines)

A Jetta is a car, and Cueball is implying that the father is an actual thief.

• "You must be tired, 'cause you've been running through my mind all night."

He adds the word "Screaming," to make the word "running" be literal instead of figurative.

This is yet another example of Beret Guy's bartender job.

The title text refers to a pickup line like this: "That shirt looks good on you, but would look even better on my bedroom floor." But here the shirt is used as fuse for a Molotov cocktail thrown into their office.

Transcript

[A bar. Beret Guy is the bartender, holding a can or mug. On the counter are a bottle and two mugs. In front of the counter are four barstools. Megan is to the left of the second barstool and Cueball is to the right, talking to her.]

Cueball: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put your sister and I together.

[Another bar scene, shown from a different angle, with the bartender at left of panel and two barstools to the right. Cueball, standing, is talking to a different woman seated at the bar. Cueball points toward the front window of the bar.]

Cueball: Is your father a thief? Because that's totally my Jetta you parked outside.

[Another bar scene. A bar with one mug on it, and one barstool, are visible. Cueball stands talking to Ponytail.]

Cueball: You must be tired, 'cause you've been running through my mind all night.

Cueball: Screaming.

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Discussion

"Is your father a thief? because that's totally my jetta you parked outside." looks similar to a "because he stole the brightest star in the heavens to make you", or altenatively starting differently as "Are you a thief? Because you've stolen my heart." But I don't know what to insert into the Explanation. There may be other alternative 'originals'.

The Title-Text line is definitely a perversion of "That <piece of clothing> looks good on you, but would look even better on my bedroom floor." Unless you can think of anything else.

(No, I've not used any of these, before you ask. Although maybe they would have been preferable to what I have used.) 178.98.31.27 01:06, 20 June 2013 (UTC)