1493: Meeting

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Meeting

Title text: Here at CompanyName.website, our three main strengths are our web-facing chairs, our huge collection of white papers, and the fact that we physically cannot die.

Explanation

Beret Guy's business, as previously seen in 1032: Networking and 1293: Job Interview, is going well. Google has been working on self-driving cars, which usually shouldn't be lost track of and found by the police. Money doesn't usually appear from nowhere, and most businesses would be very unsettled to find that their income relied on magic. "Bug tracker" usually refers to software bugs that need fixing, not actual bugs. "White papers" are usually policy recommendations, but we suspect the title text is talking about (near-worthless) blank pages.

The reason I'm so inexpertly adding this section is to make sure to point out that companyname.website redirects to xkcd.com.

Transcript

Beret Guy: Welcome to a meeting! I'm almost out of words, so I'll keep this short.

Beret Guy: First, a few updates. We've learned from the state police that the self-driving car project we launched by accident during this morning carpool has come to an end about 90 miles outside of town. Very exciting!

Beret Guy: Profits are up. Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?

Ponytail: Nope. Money keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why.

Beret Guy: Great!

Beret Guy: Oh, and one last thing—I saw a cool red beetle in the hall. Can someone add it to the bug tracker?

[from outside panel]: Just did!

Beret Guy: Thanks!

Title text: Here at CompanyName.website, our three main strengths are our web-facing chairs, our huge collection of white papers, and the fact that we physically cannot die.

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Discussion

It's been registered since November, just what the hell was Randall planning on doing with this site four months ago? Schiffy (Speak to me|What I've done) 05:32, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

He's said before that he buys domains and holds them until he finds a use. Maybe this was one of those? -- Mikemk (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Just went to the site. It redirects to xkcd.com 108.162.238.171 16:01, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

I know another webcomic artist who upgrades daily and currently has a three-month buffer (comics drawn ahead until early June of this year). Maybe Randall also has a buffer, and this cartoon was originally drawn in November and has been waiting in the buffer ever since.108.162.216.191 03:15, 6 March 2015 (UTC)

Yes, that is true, https://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com explicitly mentions that some automation software is used to make a bufér. 172.64.238.111 08:48, 11 May 2023 (UTC)

I want to know what that "physically cannot die" thing is about. 199.27.128.179 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Let's see... mystical powers check. Immortality check. If he weren't so naive and clueless, I'd think Beret Guy is supposed to represent God. Mikemk (talk) 07:54, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

The phrase that comes to mind is "Quantum Immortality", although that doesn't seem to produce what I want from a web-searth, so perhaps I've got the term wrong. Basically, at every point where a quantum-level decision leads (immediately or eventually) to death or life for an individual, we only follow the probability path (in a many-worlds type scenario) that leads towards life. The fully observed "living cat" in Schrödinger's experiment, each and every time you try the experiment, so to say. Forever, given that accidents can be avoided by taking a different route home, serious diseases can be avoided by not catching them, physical aging/illness can (probably!) be avoided by not accumulating various nasty biological copy-errors (not sure what happens with mental processes, even assuming the physical impediments to brain function (such as plaques) are already dealt with, but let's assume that there's a "best result" in this life-path, also). Call it "life save-scumming", perhaps. Given how White Hat seems to have a charmed life, it would certain explain how things things seem to always turn out for the better (and more interesting, in a nice way) for him. Though obviously there's also a "many worlds" White Hat company board that has been this 'lucky' so far but now finds that their offices get struck by a de-orbitting bit of space-debris, against all odds. (Not that we'd follow them. We'd be more likely to see the versions that had built/rented their offices fifty yards further down the street, thus avoiding that fate.) 141.101.98.181 11:50, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

That which can eternal lie, can not die.108.162.254.98 16:25, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Remember that this is Beret Guy we're talking about. They may actually be unable to die. 173.245.56.189 19:54, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

I have a feeling that it's from Beret Guy's mystic powers, that maybe he actually can't die. In that case, while the other two "strengths" are pretty useless, Immortality easily makes up for them. 108.162.249.187 07:54, 3 March 2015 (UTC)

This should be in the Strange Powers of Beret Guy 172.68.142.137 04:54, 30 June 2017 (UTC)

Linked it for you. To link it, put double brackets on both sides of the phrase or word. You're welcome! 172.68.71.101 (talk) 18:32, 2 September 2024 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Signed it for you. To sign, add four tildes. You're welcome!

Though there was no reason to believe that the editor above was bothered about linking it. If it was text in an Explanation, yes you could help out an earlier editor, but this change isn't something that needs to be done to someone else's (individual and signed) contribution down here in the Talk section. Not signing, however, can create unparsable discussions and deprives people of the (easy) knowledge of when these things were said. Giving you the "signature of shame" template, as you either need to know (whether or not you notice) or being hit by the Pedant's Curse is exactly what you expect from having made an error like this. 172.70.91.89 18:56, 2 September 2024 (UTC)

...and, of course, in editing my reply, I managed to delete the other bit that I meant to say, in that you redlinked a non-existing page link. I think you meant to send it to Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy. So, that's an another error for you, and I'm up by one myself. 172.70.91.57 19:02, 2 September 2024 (UTC)

Ok I may be way off base here but could it be possible that he is referencing the show Helix? In the show there is a group of immortals who formed a corporation name Ilaria and it's not clear how they make their money. 199.27.128.85 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Now that we have three comics on the subject (arguably more), should we have a Category:Beret Guy's Business? LockmanCapulet _{I plead the third!} 08:01, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Done :-). --DaB. (talk) 16:01, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

I added the two other pages to the category, but then realised that the wiki was getting confused about slight character differences (’:U+2019 vs ':U+0027) so I set up a redirect and now Category:Beret_Guy’s_Business (broken link to keep this page out of the cat) contains its self? Halp (although it does seem fitting of how Beret Guy frequently bends the laws of physics). Pixali (talk) 23:52, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Could the immoralitly refer to the whole "corporations as a legal person" thing? User:CDave

I think 'beetle' might refer to a VW Beetle given that they're talking about cars. --108.162.254.54 09:00, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

I doubt it, because it was in the hall. Probably a literal beetle. 108.162.217.119 16:01, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Just because they were talking about a car earlier doesn't mean they're still talking about a car. I suspect he's talking about the insect. Adding a layer about Volkswagen into the joke just doesn't seem funny enough. I think the line claiming it could be a Volkswagen should be removed from the explanation. --199.27.133.38 18:52, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Could this be an intentional parody of Randall's own business model for xkcd? Since, beyond the store and his book he hardly operates as a standard business, but people just keep giving him money to do what he does anyway. 141.101.98.21 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Is the "cool red beetle" a ladybug? Would be consistent with Beret Guy not knowing many common nouns. Djbrasier (talk) 15:42, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

To be fair, corporations aren't really immortal, in much the same way a football team isn't. The team, of course, is constantly changing out its members, and in this sense can remain vigorous long beyond the lifespan of an ordinary human. But corporations are vulnerable to the fatal flaw of being utterly dependent on engaging the interest of quite a lot of people during their whole lifespan. Football needs players, investors, managers and coaches, children playing and learning the game in the decades leading up to league level play - not to mention millions of fans. If any of those groups lose interest, the whole enterprise evaporates, practically overnight. So the chief concern of corporations, even above profits, is to convince large groups of people to engage them, as buyers, workers, suppliers and so on. I am not sure how aware they are of this, nor am I sure I want them aware of it, but that's what it boils down to. 108.162.242.84 16:38, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

I thought "State Police" (probably Highway Patrol) was a reference to a police car chase. Usually police chase cars to stop them for violating laws. This time the police chased a car just to stop it. 108.162.210.121 22:53, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

I was under the assumption that the car was being chased down for some kind of violation. The statement "Has come to an end about 90 miles out of town" is the kind of thing you'd have in a news report describing the events of a real police chase. Of course, for Beret Guy, it looks like it was more or less a successful test. 108.162.249.187 07:54, 3 March 2015 (UTC)

I remembered the mysterious apple car spotted weeks ago, that "launched" by accident the company's self-driving car project rumors. Nantunes (talk) 13:40, 3 March 2015 (UTC)

It looks like Beret Guy turns into a child in the last panel . . . doesn't it? 173.245.50.108 19:52, 3 March 2015 (UTC)

Using GIMP, I can see he's got about the same overall height, but the distance between his head and his feet is smaller, and his head is bigger, so it does look like he became a child. However, it's more likely a drawing mistake. If I remember correctly, Randall is more likely to draw things again than copy pasting for accuracy, and I suppose it's hard to draw things in exactly the same dimensions. 188.114.99.189 22:53, 10 December 2015 (UTC)

Aren't the "three main strengths" a reference to the Spanish Inquisition?188.114.110.47 21:54, 3 March 2015 (UTC)

No. The part of the Spanish Inquisition sketches you're talking about have the Inquisitor saying more things than he's said at the start ("Our chief weapon is surprise and fear- Our two weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency-" and so on). This is just a list of silly things. -Pennpenn 108.162.250.155 00:32, 6 March 2015 (UTC)

I assumed the self-driving car was more along Toyota and the accelerator being stuck, or something like that. A runaway car. 108.162.216.76 01:59, 4 March 2015 (UTC)

I also take it that it was a runaway car. I imagine a scene where all the people in the carpool jump out of the car while it's driving at high speed, just to see how far it will "drive itself". Saibot84 21:50, 5 March 2015 (UTC)

Just a random headcanon on this, but I get the feeling that CompanyName.Website's "web-facing chairs" are chairs pointed at actual spiderwebs. --199.27.128.179 10:49, 18 April 2015 (UTC)

Is anyone reminded of Welcome to Night Vale by that hovertext? Seriously, it sounds like something Cecil would say in a message from his sponsors.

Is it possible that Beret Guys business is a money manufacturing facility?as in place that prints money?141.101.75.53 20:33, 6 August 2015 (UTC)