2765: Escape Speed

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Escape Speed
Gotta go fast.
Title text: Gotta go fast.


  • To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the original comic.

Explanation[edit]

This is the 13th April fools' comic released by Randall, but 18 days late, see the trivia section below. The previous April fools' comic was 2601: Instructions, which was released on Friday, April 1st, 2022. The next became 2916: Machine released on Friday April 5th, 2024 (a regular release day, but 4 days late, even though April 1st was a Monday, also a regular release day).

This interactive comic is similar to 2712: Gravity, which celebrated the release of What If? 2, as you can visit different planets. Your fuel runs out and recharges slowly over time or instantly whenever you land. Like in Gravity, there is no "universal" point of view: the bottom of the window, "down", is oriented towards the object exerting the most gravity upon the player.

You begin on the Starting Planet, near Origin. To escape Origin's gravitational force, gain enough momentum by swinging a few times inside the large hidden tunnel that goes from the rollercoaster to the opposing side of the planet. However, note that it is possible to escape Origin’s gravitational pull by maneuvering the spacecraft counterclockwise around the Starting Planet, accelerating tangential to the surface above the figure yelling “WOW!” or “!MOM”. To help you find other planets there are also many small circles surrounding the spaceship indicating the locations of nearby or distant planets depending on how transparent these points are. Collecting circles with a star outline will improve the performance of the spaceship, such as by making the engine more efficient or increasing the rate at which the fuel recharges, and sometimes make you find a new item. Collecting small grey circles will instead just make you find an item, such as a rock with neat stripes, a cool bug, and a pretty leaf.

Most planets and celestial objects are inside of a large Crystal Sphere in which there is a visible navigable crack. Halfway through the crack, gravity gets increasingly stronger as the spaceship feels the gravitational force of the parts of the Crystal Sphere it is leaving behind. Above the crack in the Crystal Sphere, there is the Star Destroyer from 1608: Hoverboard, and on the opposite side of the crack, there is a huge part of the world in 1110: Click and Drag in the form of a round planet.

The title of the comic is likely a reference to the 1996 computer game Escape Velocity, which also featured a 2D map dotted with planets. The title text says, "Gotta go fast.", a reference to Sonic the Hedgehog's catchphrase, and the point of the game: getting able to go faster to escape larger and larger planets and leave the Crystal Sphere.

The Hyperdrive[edit]

The Hyperdrive is a powerful upgrade to the spaceship that massively boosts your thrusters. It is found at the center of the Boston Planet and is needed to explore the planets outside the Crystal Sphere and to escape from the black hole inside the Subway Planet. It can only be unlocked after deactivating the MIT Cloaking Device on the Subway Planet and collecting three of the four subway tokens found at different "Bostons". Subway tokens are circles with a T outline, and they have a distinct color: "blue", "red", "green", and "orange", the four colors of Boston's subway system. The blue token on the Boston Planet is not strictly necessary to get the Hyperdrive, although it is the easiest to obtain. Note that getting it will require several other upgrades first, so it shouldn't be your first objective. See the table below for other ways to progress in the game.

Here's how to get the Hyperdrive:

  1. Get to the Subway Planet by launching from the bush where someone says "Shhh." on Origin. () The Subway Planet features all the subways of North America except Boston, which has been ripped out and hidden by the MIT kids, leaving a big empty hole in the crust of the planet.
  2. Once on the Subway Planet, go to Morgantown, WV via Mexico City and Atlanta, and deactivate the MIT Cloaking Device to make the Boston Planet appear.
  3. Follow the two intangible grey lines that will first guide you to Origin and then the Roche Lobe Earth (one of the four Bostons) and collect the green subway token on it.
  4. Go back to Origin and collect the orange token on the Guitar Ship (see the table below for instructions on how to find these planets).
  5. Get to the East Coast of the US on the Projection of Earth and collect the red token.
  6. Now that the center of the Boston Planet is accessible, go there and collect the Hyperdrive. The planet also contains the final blue token, but it's not necessary to get to the Hyperdrive.

Extra Escape Speed pages[edit]

Since this comic is so big and complicated, extra pages have been created to include much more information than is wished for on this main page. These pages are listed here for convenience, but they are also listed in the relevant sections below:

Celestial Bodies and Collectable Items[edit]

This is a table of all celestial bodies and items, in descending order of planet size (the Starting Planet, Origin, and the Hollow Planet are at the top for their relevance). Collectable items and messages are found in the "You found...", "Upgrades", "Messages" and "Subway tokens" columns. For more detailed and in-depth tables and lists, see here. Here are some other useful resources:

  • A map of the entire universe created by the community can be found here
  • Screenshots of the entire world, planets, and celestial bodies made using this map can be found here
  • A spreadsheet of all items and messages from the game's source code can be found here
  • A spreadsheet of coordinates for all celestial bodies from the game's source code can be found here
Name

codename

Tiles (X, Y) Explanation Collectable items and messages
You found... Upgrades Messages Subway tokens
Starting Planet

tiny-world

(6024, -8976) To get here, click the "Home" button in the lower right corner of the comic.

The planet is tiny, grassy, and has few trees. Beret Guy is saying "WOW!", but since he's on the other side of the planet, it looks like he is shouting "iMOM". This is a reference to the title text of 1117: My Sky, and it could also be a reference to 502: Dark Flow. Pressing the "Home" button to go back to the starting planet shows the message, "Welcome back, pilot", which may be a reference to the greeting that plays when re-entering a Titan in the Titanfall video games.

  • a rock with neat stripes
  • a cool bug
  • a pretty leaf
  • Wheeee!
Origin

origin

(3096, -5904) To get here, launch from Beret Guy saying "Wow!" on the Starting Planet.

The planet has a sign saying 'Welcome to Origin! You can never leave™'. A large hidden tunnel inside it leads from below the rollercoaster to the St. Louis Arch on the opposing side of the planet, which you can use to gain enough momentum to escape the gravitational force if you don't have many upgrades. There are lots of landmarks and signs that mark the directions to different planets.

  • a secret glade
  • a holographic Charizard business card
  • a 5G seagull
  • a DVD of The Core (2003)
  • a normal-looking leaf
  • a marsh wren
  • an orb wren
  • a single grain of salt
  • 11 squares packed into a larger square
  • a tumbleweed
  • Nice flying! (Your tanks recharge faster now.)
  • You found a tiny meteorite!
  • Welcome to liminal space
  • The St. Louis arch is also known as the gateway to space.
  • Be careful; this roller coaster can be disorienting!
Hollow Planet

hollow-shell

(-13952, 1848) To get here, launch from the St. Louis Arch on Origin.

The planet is just a shell with some gaps. On the outside, there are lots of landmarks and signs that mark the directions to different planets.

  • You found a handful of the quantum foam that makes up the fabric of space! (Your tanks recharge much faster now.)
  • You found a sixth lagrange point! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • You found a glass of heavy water (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Star Destroyer

from star-destroyer-a to star-destroyer-i

(18192, -130000) To get here, launch from the crack in the Crystal Sphere.

The planet has been copied from 1608: Hoverboard, with the only difference being that Darth Vader's dialogue was changed from referencing Steven Universe to The Murderbot Diaries.

  • an unread email
  • a glass slipper with a glass foot in it
  • a lymphocyte
  • a forged resume
  • a serif
  • a Bursa of Fabricius
  • a cluster of data points
  • a premium subscription to food
  • two goats and a new car
  • an out-of-control trolley
  • a helium-238 nucleus
  • the Death Star plans
  • You found a perpetual motion fidget spinner! (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
  • You found a vintage Juicero juicer! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • Hmmm.
Click and Drag Planet

clickdrag-nw, clickdrag-ne, clickdrag-sw, and clickdrag-se

(-31808, 111808) To get here, launch from the bow or stern of the Star Destroyer tangentially to the Crystal Sphere to orbit it and keep the stars in the background moving horizontally on the screen until you see a dot around the spaceship guiding you.

The planet has mostly been copied from 1110: Click and Drag and modelled to form a round planet, so the drawings are very tiny. The large rocket has been changed from the original look, possibly as a reference to SpaceX. Originally, it had no gravity, and the spaceship was only attracted by the gravity of the Crystal Sphere. This made navigating around the planet difficult, so a later update added gravity to it to make it easier for players to explore it.

  • an ant the size of Rhode Island
  • a pin with 17 angels dancing on it
  • The vehicle below gives you a boost (Your launch speed has increased.)
  • We should turn back (Your engine gets a bit more powerful.)
  • You found an expert at underwater ropes. (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • You found a trisected angle! (Your launch speed has greatly increased.)
Subway Planet

subway-planet and black-hole-3

(22000, 34000) To get here, launch from the bush where someone says "Shhh." on Origin.

The planet is a reference to 1196: Subways and it's riddled with tunnels. Boston has been ripped out and hidden by the MIT kids, leaving a big empty hole in the crust of the planet, and there is a black hole at the center that can only be escaped with the Hyperdrive. You need to find the switch that turns off the MIT Cloaking Device to help you get the Hyperdrive. Once found, two intangible grey lines will appear (on the Subway Planet and on Origin), guiding you to one of the four Bostons.

  • a relativistic bowling ball
  • a Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000)
  • a handful of quantum foam
  • a normal-sized apple
  • You get the feeling you're not in Kansas anymore (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
  • There is no parking in the white zone (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • The next stop is Interplanetary Terminal G (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You feel accomplished (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found a brightly-lit billboard (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • You found a hot dog (Your launch speed has increased.)
  • You found a bottle of Coke Absolute Zero! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • You found a beige electron! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found $30 in Yahoo! cash! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found a friendly cat! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • Transfer here for Mornington Crescent
  • MIT Cloaking Device deactivated! Boston detected. (Blue, red, green, and orange lines activated.)
Boston Planet

mbta

(-42000, 8000) To get here, launch from the back of the Shuttle Skeleton.

The planet is the Boston subway system that was ripped out from the Subway Planet by the MIT kids. The Hyperdrive, needed to explore the planets outside the Crystal Sphere, is at the center of the planet, which is only accessible after getting the green, red and orange subway tokens. The blue token is not strictly necessary to get the Hyperdrive, although it is the easiest to obtain. If the player goes to the location of the Boston Planet before turning off the MIT Cloaking Device, they will only find an invisible region out in space that has gravity, at the center of which a "strangely heavy subway token" can be found. The gravitational force around it remains even after the token is collected. As hinted by Blondie on Andal, the MIT Cloaking Device doesn't affect gravity, therefore the cloaked Boston planet is intangible and invisible, but its mass still affects the gravitational field around it.

  • a strangely heavy subway token
  • Blue line deactivated!
  • Welcome to MIT! You acquired a hyperdrive!
Projection of Earth

earth-map

(-15808, 22192) To get here, launch from the Earth map landmark on Origin or the sign on the Hollow Planet.

The planet is a huge, distorted map of all land masses on Earth. The spaceship can fly where water would be, but it can't go over land.

  • the Heart of the Ocean
  • a whale shark
  • some microbial life
  • some tin from the pantai remis mine
  • a sparkling gem
  • a piece of pumice
  • You found the Principality of Sealand! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found a Rhode Island the size of an ant! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found an icosahedral d10 (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • Red line deactivated!
What If? Planet

gravity-earth

(-46000, -24000) To get here, launch from the two people explaining where Boston is on Origin, the left of Stonehenge on the Round Planet, or the left rim of the Guitar Ship.

The planet contains several scenes from What If? 2 and 2712: Gravity. Megan and Cueball are floating inside a small space in the center of the planet, which can be reached after getting the Hyperdrive. This is arguably the most remote object within the Crystal Sphere, since all the planets around it are very distant from it.

  • an eye in the sky
  • a stick
  • an asterisk
  • a sterile neutrino
  • a secret leaf
  • a pair of squirrel goggles
  • a large hadron
  • a smooth green snake
  • You found a sunken treasure (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • The Yellowstone Super What? (Your launch speed has increased.)
  • Nutritional Facts - Serving Size: 1 Cloud, Total Calories: 0 (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You captured the flag! You decide to leave it there, but it's yours. (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found a steam calliope! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found a dna base pair! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Uzumaki

uzumaki

(-3904, -26904) To get here, launch from Origin's spiral landmark, the sign on the Hollow Planet, or below the plane-towed banner on the Round Planet.

The planet is a large spiral of grass inspired by the manga Uzumaki by Junji Ito. A Roomba is loose, a reference to 1558: Vet.

  • a golden radio tuned to 1.618 MHz
  • a scroll lock key
  • a primordial black hole
  • a cool pair of shoes with flames on the side
  • an ink cartridge
  • a podcast episode
  • a festive but somehow unnerving holiday card from Junji Ito
  • a friendly bee
  • a spiral-cut diamond
  • a burrito
  • You found a tree-filled grove and a nice spot for quiet contemplation (Your thrusters are significantly more efficient now.)
  • You found a single caffeine molecule! (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
  • Exit Only
  • You're going the wrong way!
Round Planet

orb

(-19154, -7288) To get here, launch from the tower with an orb on it on Origin or the sign on the Hollow Planet.

The planet is moderately small with no vegetation and some architecture such as Stonehenge and the Great Wall of China.

  • a swatch pop-out wristwatch
  • You found a sensible cheese platter (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
  • [no message] (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Jurassic Park Planet

gravity-qwantz

(20000, 11000) To get here, launch from the dinosaur on Origin or the Andalites on Andal.

The planet is covered in dinosaurs from Dinosaur Comics and has very weak gravity. It is an exact copy of the Dinosaur Planet from 2712: Gravity.

  • a tiny pteranodon
  • a baby hedgehog
  • a tattered knapsack containing about $194,00 in $20 bills
  • Today is a good day I think for space exploration (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • But what if gravity doesn't actually exist? (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
Andal

platform-planet

(12048, 14048) To get here, launch from the Andal landmark near the pyramids on Origin or below Saturn's equator, when the soccer ball is oriented to the bottom left compared to the spaceship.

The planet is small and has a T-shaped tower, mountains, and grass.

  • You found two Andalites, one canonical! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • What a nice place for a ship to sit! (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
  • You found a friend (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • You found baby shoes (and baby)! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Comet 67P

67p

(18048, -11152) To get here, launch from the duck next to the 'Caution: long vertical drop' sign on Origin.

The planet is a reference to the comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko and contains the crashed Rosetta spacecraft along with the Philae lander that landed on it in 2014.

  • Some people believe that when the Earth appears in the sky, it's a harbinger of doom. (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
  • You found a broken smoke machine (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • Anyone for Scrabble later? (Your engine gets a little more powerful.) (This is a reference to 470: The End is Not for a While.)
  • You found The Long Now Foundation's nickel paperweight containing an archive of every published Animorphs book! (Your launch speed has increased.)
Guitar Ship

guitar-ship

(-12000, -30000) To get here, launch from the musicians singing "it's more than a feeling" near Uzumaki.

The planet is a huge guitar labeled 'Boston' with the city skyline under a dome on the back (a reference to the cover art of the album Boston).

  • a guitar pick
  • Orange line deactivated!
Saturn

saturn

(2600, 14000) To get here, launch from the pyramid with Saturn on it on Origin. If you see the Spacetime Soccer Field, you're too far left.

The planet has a soccer ball inside it, a reference to 2513: Saturn Hexagon.

  • a really cool data point
  • You found a pair of platonic solids, not quite touching! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found a block of scandium! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Roche Lobe Earth

earth-roche and normal-moon

(-9952, -3952) To get here, launch from the landmark that looks like a very round cannon firing a cannon ball on Origin.

The planet is a distorted Earth being attracted by the gravity of the moon, which makes the Earth look like a giant drop of water. See Roche Lobe for more information.

  • a curious humboldt squid
  • a bathyscaphe
  • a wayward Roomba full of moondust
  • Green line deactivated!
Giant Spider

spider

(26982, -8714) To get here, launch from the spider landmark on Origin.

The object is a giant spider floating in space with eight people standing on top of his legs.

  • a spider-silk scarf
  • You found a friendly jumping spider (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Dark Matter Planet

dark-matter

(-2892, 2640) To get here, launch from the goal on the half of the field with just one person on it on Spacetime Soccer Field.

The planet is small and grey, and it has the words "Dark matter" inside. On its surface, there are two squirrels and Ponytail exclaiming "I found it!", a reference to 2186: Dark Matter).

  • You found a delicate music box. (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
Shuttle Skeleton

space-shuttle

(-30200, 14576) To get here, launch from the Shuttle Skeleton landmark on Origin or Northwest from Alaska on the Projection of Earth.

The object is a reference to the Space Shuttle Skeleton from 2630: Shuttle Skeleton.

  • a piece of space shuttle food
  • A little upgrade works wonders on fuel efficiency (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
Diffraction Spikes Star

diffraction

(-19944, 11240) To get here, launch from the back of the left "hand" of the Shuttle Skeleton or the north of Alaska.

The object is a very spiky star, a reference to 2762: Diffraction Spikes.

  • a hydrogen ion
  • a piece of coronium (iron)
SafetySat

safetysat

(17024, 1024) To get here, launch from the cell tower on Origin.

The object is a reference to 1992: SafetySat.

  • a first of its kind
  • [no message] (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • The more refined oil had a dinner engagement (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
Spacetime Soccer Field

soccerfield

(6048, 4048) To get here, launch from the pyramid with a soccer ball on it on Origin.

The planet is reference to 2705: Spacetime Soccer and consists of a central white body, goals on the poles, and intangible lines farther away.

  • GOOOOOOOOAAAAA- AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • GOOOOOOOOAAAAA- AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • You found the 3 million point line (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
  • You found a sunspot! (Your launch speed has increased.)
Voyager 1

voyager-1

(1606, -14282) To get here, launch from the "Receiving transmission" communication device near the spiral landmark on Origin.

The object is a satellite flying in space around Origin.

  • You found Voyager 1! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
Voyager 2

voyager-2

(10682, -5172) To get here, launch from the "Receiving transmission" communication device near the spider landmark on Origin.

The object is a satellite flying in space around Origin.

  • You found Voyager 2! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
Crystal Sphere

from ring-1 to ring-36

To get here, launch from anywhere and keep avoiding planets until you hit it.

Most planets and celestial objects are inside of a large Crystal Sphere in which there is a visible navigable crack. Halfway through the crack, gravity gets increasingly stronger as the spaceship feels the gravitational force of the entire Crystal Sphere. Despite a person on Origin saying that "there's no way you'd be able to escape [the Crystal Sphere's] gravitation pull. You'd need some kind of a Hyperdrive for that", it's actually possible to get out of the Crystal Sphere without the Hyperdrive (but the spaceship won't be able to stay in the air for more than a second without being pulled back). You can also escape by going fast enough and ramming through. Above the crack, there is an arch made up of the repeating words "The End", which is reminiscent of the "Don't leave the play area" message in 1608: Hoverboard that appeared when the player tried to get out of it. A crystal sphere was previously mentioned in 1189: Voyager 1 and 2121: Light Pollution.

  • a necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out your name
  • the platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram
  • A significant boost to the engines for a curious pilot (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
  • You found the gold crown Archimedes stole! (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
Crack in the Crystal Sphere To get here, launch from the two characters talking about 'shooting for the moon' on Origin or the 'Exit' sign on the Hollow Planet.

This section of the Crystal Sphere was violently removed, similarly to how Boston was ripped out from the Subway Planet, leaving jagged edges and construction materials visible. Judging by the shape of the edges of the crack, it doesn't look like the Crystal Sphere is made of crystal. As noticed by Ponytail in the Hollow Planet, when the player is inside the Crystal Sphere, they don't feel a gravitational pull from the huge structure, but when they're outside, the spaceship feels the gravitational force of all the celestial bodies it is leaving behind, resulting in an very strong pull towards the interior of the Crystal Sphere. Above the crack, there is an arch made up of the repeating words "The End", which is reminiscent of the "Don't leave the play area" message in 1608: Hoverboard that appeared when the player tried to get out of it. The Crystal Sphere may be a reference to The Crystal Spheres, a short story by science fiction author David Brin which suggests that each star with habitable planets in the universe is surrounded by a crystal sphere that can be broken only from the inside and is otherwise completely impenetrable.

  • There is a way out (Your launch speed has increased.)
  • Right lane must turn right
  • Left lane must turn left
Open Space Outside the Crystal Sphere To get here, go through the crack in the crystal sphere
  • It is very lonely out here (Your tanks recharge much faster now.)
  • You found a needle in a haystack (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
  • From here you can view the source of it all. (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)

Hacks[edit]

Some of the modes and hacks from 2712: Gravity return in this comic and can be activated by opening the browser console (F12, Ctr+Shift+I or Cmd+Option+I to open your browser's developer tools, then choose the Console tab) and typing a command.




  • python("import antigravity") flips the gravitational pull. It's a reference to comic 353: Python.
  • noclip = true disables collision detection.
  • Comic.gravityConstant = 0 turns gravity off (default is 100).
  • Comic.voyager.opts.speed = 0.1 increases engine power (default is 0.04).
  • Comic.voyager.opts.thrustDuration = 1000 provides extra fuel (default is 3.5).
  • Comic.voyager.opts.turnSpeed = 0.008 increases your turning speed (default is 0.002).
  • [Comic.voyager.pos.x, Comic.voyager.pos.y] = [1177, 6755] teleports the spaceship to Saturn (Coordinates list.)
  • Comic.map.items is an array of the findable items, and Comic.map.locations is an array of places.
  • ship.engines = "infinite improbability drive" moves the spaceship to random locations, in a reference to the Heart of Gold from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
  • ze.goggles() once again prints "they do nothing!"
  • ship.shields = false turns the entire screen black when you collide with something.

Spaceships[edit]

This is a table of all spaceships:

| - | paperplane[[1]] | paperplane | changes the spaceship into a paper plane. | - - | bubble [[2]] | Default Ship | (the default spaceship) | - - | small-bubble[[3]] | Small-bubble | (a smaller version of the default) | - | carriagereturn [[4]] | USS Enterprise | (the USS Enterprise, presumably a pun on 'Enter') | - | lamp [[5]] | Flyable Lamp | (a lamp that shoots light down/up/left/right) | - | lampacity [[6]] | Flyable Lamp 2 | (also a lamp?) | - | ship1 [[7]] | Default ship 2 | (the default spaceship from "Gravity"). available only with Code inspector | - | | USS Enterprise 2 [[8]] | ship.engines = "warp" The spaceship USS Enterprise from Star Trek and massively boosts the power of your engines.Use | ship.engines = "standard" to return to normal.available only with Code inspector | - | Right click on the side and then press inspect then click console then Copy and paste this into the console and then put the ship name in between the quote marks Comic.ship = " " | -

Data and Maps[edit]

CruseCtrl's wayfinder adds a blue dot to show where the nearest collectable is. Paste this into the JavaScript console:

 const waypointDiv = document.createElement("div");
 waypointDiv.style = "position: absolute; left: 50%; top: 50%; width: 6px; height: 6px; background: blue; border-radius: 99px;";
 document.getElementById("comic").appendChild(waypointDiv);
 const findClosestObject = (voyager, xPos, yPos) => {
   let bestDist = Infinity;
   let bestObject = null;
   for (const object of voyager.objects.filter((o) => !voyager.gotObjects.has(o.id) && o.visible?.())) {
     const dist = Math.sqrt((xPos - (object.x1 + object.x2) / 2) ** 2 + (yPos - (object.y1 + object.y2) / 2) ** 2);
     if (dist < bestDist) {
       bestDist = dist;
       bestObject = object;
     }
   }
   return { object: bestObject, dist: bestDist };
 };
 const everyFrame = function (state) {
   const { object, dist } = findClosestObject(Comic.voyager, state.x, state.y);
   if (!object) {
     waypointDiv.style.display = "none";
     return;
   }
   const objectX = (object.x1 + object.x2) / 2;
   const objectY = (object.y1 + object.y2) / 2;
   const angleToObject = Math.atan2(objectY - state.y, objectX - state.x);
   const waypointAngle = angleToObject + Comic.voyager.cameraAngle;
   const waypointDistance = 10 + 2 * dist ** (1 / 3);
   const waypointX = Math.cos(waypointAngle) * waypointDistance;
   const waypointY = Math.sin(waypointAngle) * waypointDistance;
   waypointDiv.style.transform = `translate(${waypointX}px, ${waypointY}px)`;
 };
 const oldOnFrame = Comic.onFrame.bind(Comic);
 Comic.onFrame = function (...args) { everyFrame(...args); oldOnFrame(...args); };

The following script stops the momentum of the spaceship, which can be useful after seeing a planet without being able to slow down in time:

 window.onkeydown = function(e){if(e.key == 'p'){Comic.gameHandle.playerConfig.maxSpeed = 0; setTimeout(() => {Comic.gameHandle.playerConfig.maxSpeed = 100;},10)}}


Transcript[edit]

[This transcript only covers the starting page as shown on xkcd.com. A full transcript of the entire comic can be found here.]
[What is shown on xkcd it what is known as the Starting planet. It is a small planet. On top of it is a small spaceship standing on two legs. It has a circular shape on top of the legs with a round window. Next to it is a small tree which is higher than the spaceship. This is the spaceship to be controlled by the user. The planet has grass all around, and the entire planet is visible. But the ship is in the center, so most of the planet is in the lover part of the panel. The background around the planet is a star-studded black backdrop. Going around the planet to clockwise from the small tree, there are two more trees with some small bushes between the first small tree and the two next trees. A larger tree is on the opposite part of the planet. Between the two trees and this there is a small bush and the Beret Guy who looks and point up from his point of view (down as seen in the image as he is on the opposite side). He is exclaiming a word. After the largest tree next to him, come a small tree. Before that Cueball and Megan stand together. On the last part back to the spaceship there is another small bush. There are also four gray dots. One above the spaceship. One between the first three and the two. One above the largest of the two trees together. And the final near the bush to the left of the spaceship. Those four dots are part of the game and can be removed if the ship touches them. In the bottom right corner of the panel there is a small white square with a black house drawn upon it. There are two small black dots beneath it. A curved arrow goes below the house from the right to the left dot. This is the home button that will always take the player back to this starting window. To the very right of the panel on height with the spaceship there is a white bar about three times the height of the spaceship. This bar indicates how much energy the spaceship has. It always refuels immediately after landing anywhere.]
Beret Guy: Wow!
[As Beret Guy is upside down, so is his words. They can thus easily be read as MOM as they are written, as always, in all caps.]
[As part of the game there are messages appearing the first time you enter the comic, and every time you return to home of to the comic from another comic. Although they are not part of the image, they do appear on the home image. These messages appear as black text in a rectangular white panel with a black border. The messages are only on screen for a short time. On a mobile phone browser "Use the arrow keys" is "Tap the sides of your screen". The three situations follow here:]
[First time opening the game in a new browser there are two messages one appearing after the other:]
Greetings!
Use the arrow keys, pilot.
[When pressing the home button only one message appears:]
Welcome back, pilot.
[When reloading or going to the page after having been in another page or having shut down the program and opening again, there will be two messages:]
Welcome back! We saved your progress.
Use the arrow keys, pilot.
[When moving past the grey dots text is revealed in a similar manner to the greetings text. If it is items, then they are collected and listed beneath the panel under the heading "You've found:" A bulleted list will then start to grow beneath this as you play the game and collect items.]
[For more transcripts from the rest of the game go to the full transcript page.]

Trivia[edit]

  • This was the most delayed April fools' Day comic so far. 18 days overdue. And no mention of April fools' Day came out in relation to the release. 2757: Towed Message was released closest to April 1st on Friday March 31st and The next comic, 2758: My Favorite Things, was released on the normal schedule on Monday April 3rd. But it turned out that the actual "April fools'" project, 2765: Escape Speed, was so delayed that it was not released until Wednesday April 19th.
    • There was some debate about if this was actually meant to be a fools' comic with so much delay and no mention of this (as there has been with the delay of Garden).
    • But then a link to this article Development notes from xkcd's "Gravity" and "Escape Speed" by Max Goodhart, aka Chromakode, was provided.
    • Max was one of the developers of both Escape Speed and the earlier 2712: Gravity, and was credited in the header text of Escape Speed.
      • He writes at the top of the article "On April 20th, xkcd published Escape Speed, the 14th annual April Fools comic we’ve made together".
        • In xkcd archive the comic is listed as being released on April 19th.
      • This settles the debate, as it is now clear that this was meant to be the April fools' comic of 2023.
  • At (-945.399px, -694.381px), a person named Ryan is stuck in a small hole with a dog. This is a reference to a real event that happened to Dinosaur Comics author Ryan North. Nearby is featured the T-rex from his iconic comic strip, in the pose of the last panel.

Discussion[edit]

The discussion was removed due to its extreme length, but it's still visible on its own page.